Hindustan Times ST (Mumbai) - Live
Of ladies who lunch in Lahore
Author and columnist Moni Mohsin has outdone herself with her new book, Between You, Me and the Four Walls (2022). This work of satire combines socio-political critique with ribtickling humour, foregrounding the first-world problems of the Pakistani elite. Their lives are sharply examined and dissected through the perspective of Butterfly, a self-proclaimed “khandani” woman from Lahore, who previously appeared in The Diary of a Social Butterfly (2008), Tender Hooks (2011) and The Return of the Butterfly (2014).
If you are unfamiliar with this fictional universe, it might help to know that Butterfly loves partying, gossip, and shopping. She is married to an Oxford-educated man who owns vast swathes of land in Pakistan and is close friends with the “goras” he studied with. She calls him Janoo when she is not referring to him as “Oxen”.
Unlike her politically incorrect self, her son, a teenager named Kulchoo, is quite woke. Butterfly wants him to have an Arabian Nights-themed wedding that will last for 1,001 nights, which he is terribly embarrassed about. Janoo has a younger sister named Qubra. Butterfly likes to call her Cobra as the woman is “slimy, slithery and poisonous”. Qubra’s husband is Shadaab, and we are told that everyone calls him Shady, “pyaar say”. Butterfly’s mother-in-law is introduced as “The Old Bag”.
Between You, Me and the Four Walls is structured as diary entries addressed to the reader. The book begins with an entry from January 2014, and concludes with one from December 2021. This gives Mohsin a chance to comment on prominent events from this period. The pandemic occupies an important place in the book, as do the antics of cricketerturned-politician Imran Khan. Butterfly is not particularly fond of him.
Here, the chutnification of language, which Salman Rushdie made so commonplace in South Asian fiction, re-emerges in a spicy avatar. Butterfly writes, “When he (Khan) was chalaowing chukkers with all those Indian actresses in the 70s, Reham was probably being potty trained.”
What makes this book a real hoot is the fact that the person trolling the swish set is not an outsider making snide remarks about privilege or social capital. Butterfly is a proud insider of the “khaata peeta” gang that she gives us the dirt on. Her brother-in-law Shady has
Between You, Me and the Four Walls Moni Mohsin
232pp, ~299, Penguin political ambitions, so he and his wife Qubra are trying to warm up to Khan. Butterfly is not committed to any ideology. She is happy to change her mind as frequently as she does her clothes and shoes. She wants to keep herself in the good books of those with access to power. Who knows when she might have to reach out with a phone call to get something done?
Mohsin does an excellent job of showing how the well-heeled exaggerate their place in the social hierarchy through association. In one diary entry, Butterfly writes, “You know my friend Kamila Shamsie? Bhai, she’s from Karachi only. Writes story books. Good bagground, parhi likhi, English medium type, so basically same to same as me.”
While Mohsin lives in London, she grew up in Lahore and visits that city frequently. Her stinging observations of people with old money and the nouveau riche come from knowing their world intimately. There is no dearth of material for her to draw from. Butterfly is a memorable character because she has a unique voice that is rooted in her social milieu. Without Mohsin’s understanding of her world, this character would fall flat.
The author has no intention of painting everyone from the same class with the same brush. Janoo and Kulchoo serve as foils to Butterfly’s character. They read widely, think critically, and try to be conscience-keepers, unlike Butterfly who is full of hot-takes. She wants Pakistan to become “nice, rich and clean” like Sweden. Her idea of “jannat ” is Dubai because “everything is saaf suthra and so peaceful”; most importantly, “there are no trees, so there are no leaves to sweep and no birds to sit in them and do potty on your car.”
If you are wondering where Butterfly’s adventures will take her next, Mohsin leaves us with a hint. Butterfly wants Kulchoo to help her become an Instagram influencer so that she can make everyone burn with envy when they see her designer outfits. “I’m not an Aunty. I’m a Yummy Mummy.”
She has some styling tips for British politician Boris Johnson, who “can’t even do kungi properly” and Kate Middleton who should apparently “try harder” to go blonde. Why? Well, if Butterfly and half her “kitty group in Lahore can be blonde”, the Princess of Wales is not allowed to make excuses. Whoops!