The kindnesses of Esther Daswani, a quiet star and glamorous supermodel
MUMBAI: They were born to parents forged in the crucible of India’s Independence and galvanised with the spirit of nationalism, when the country was in the throes of a romantic socialism. They were the children of a pluralism an outward look and great hope.
One such was Esther, who grew up looking like a gazelle in the ’70s, becoming one of the country’s first supermodels, way before t he term was invented in a pre-lib era. She grew up with great middle-class values, impeccable manners and the impetus to achieve her goals.
It was the era of bell bottoms and flower power, beehive hairdos, vinyl records, Carnaby Street and the Beatles; when in Mumbai international beauty pageants and fashion shows were conducted at Matunga’s Shanmukhannada Hall and compered by Gerson da Cunha and Keith Stevenson; a time when print ads were for products like Leela Lace and Wills cigarettes and Bombay Dyeing.
At a time when travelling abroad and foreign exposure were limited, air tickets cost a fortune, FE was non-existent and Levis were available in smugglers’ dens, they travelled to places like Belgrade, Colombo and Moscow or across the country on weekly fashion shows and for Femina sashaying down ramps to Anand Shankar’s beats and songs like ‘Those were the days’ and later Gloria Gaynor’s ‘I will survive’, to name a few.
Esther’s parents had met in Germany where her father Lt Col Thomas Mathai was posted during World WAR-II. Mathai had met Betty of Nuremberg and the two had fallen in love.
The couple had to wait 14 long years, communicating only through letters which were opened by the gestapo in Germany and authorities in India, until Betty could finally travel to India and they could reunite and marry. Esther was their only child, born late (1949) and schooled in Calcutta, Ooty and Sophia College, Bombay.
Tall and striking, she began her modelling career while in college, going on to become one of the best-known faces of her time. At 24 she met Raju Daswani, son of a Mumbai business family, and they fell in love. They were married for over half a century and were a popular social couple, denizens of an old Bombay and more graceful times. In 1999 she was diagnosed with cervical cancer but that didn’t slow her down. Undergoing chemotherapy, she’d dress up in great style even after she’d lost all her hair.
Having beaten cancer she was diagnosed with MSA (Multiple System Atrophy), a rare neurological disease, a few years later. She had displayed great grace under pressure as the disease progressed slowly, but the last four years or so had been exceptionally tough and her family and friends had looked after her with devotion and love.
‘Esther means star and now our dear Esther will shine bright and look down upon us from the heavens’ read the opening line of her obituary.
And for those who knew her, she was the quiet star, devoting herself to her family and friends, lighting up their lives and even of people she barely knew. A true friend who gave herself completely to any relationship -- she would counsel people with problems, mainly those suffering from cancer and was known to drive to their homes sometimes from Colaba to the far suburbs just to comfort them. Her kindness was devoid of artifice or halos. While she was firm and highly disciplined, she was also extremely playful and would crack silly jokes and was always up for a harmless prank.
Her penchant to keep parties doubled up in laughter with her jokes, was famous.
She remained her graceful self till the very end. Even though she was visibly suffering, she still laughed when old friends came over, giggling with her sons, until her final moments, when they recalled some silly anecdotes about their youth, beaming with great glee when her grandchildren returned from out of town to see her one last time, listening intently when they read or sang to her, blessing them all before they had to finally leave her.
Esther’s quiet acts of thoughtfulness and kindness were legion.
Her friends recall how hers was always the first birthday greeting, and of receiving her words of comfort and concern when required. God knows she would shrink from public attention, her celebrated kindness born out of a burnishing of the soul.
As the popular saying goes: ‘The kindest people are not born that way, they are made. They are the souls that have experienced so much at the hands of life, they are the ones who have dug themselves out of the dark, who have fought to turn every loss into a lesson, they choose to believe in goodness, because they have seen first-hand why compassion is so necessary. And they have seen first-hand, why tenderness is so important in this world…’