More and more people are shying away from the ageold institution of marriage. We take a look at the few reasons behind it.
As a survey points out that several people are moving away from marriage, we ask experts what is driving people away from the age-old institution
Amarriage portal recently conducted a survey to understand people’s views on marriages in India. Of the 14,700 people who participated in the survey, 12.2% men and 10.3% women said that marriage wasn’t for them. Also, 18.2% men and 13.2% women said they were unsure about getting married. The findings come as a surprise since marriage is considered to be a very important aspect in the lives of most Indians.
So, why has there been a shift in people’s attitudes when it comes to marriage? Psychotherapist and life coach, Neeta V Shetty says it’s a sign of the changing times and that “new age” couples don’t have gender-specific roles. “Expectations in marriages have changed drastically over the years,” says Shetty. She elaborates that as we are moving towards nuclear families, the concept of adjustment, sharing and caring among other members and siblings is becoming rare. “More families are opting for a one-child concept. Adults are living their lives on their own terms and conditions. This makes marriage a burden as well as something that binds you down. Marriage to these people means adjusting and being answerable to someone all the time. Another factor which works against marriage is that in this fast paced and open world, people have their own set of friends who take care of their emotional needs as well as offer them companionship,” she explains.
AVOIDING RESPONSIBILITIES
In the survey, among people who stated marriage wasn’t meant for them, 35.1% men and 27.2% women reasoned that it was because they didn’t want to take up responsibilities.
Psychiatrist Gittanjali Saxena believes that the biggest fear people have before getting hitched is that of responsibility. She says, “The fear stems from the fact that after marriage you will have children, followed by other responsibilities [financial aid, baby sitting etc]. Even today, in many parts of India, a large number of parents take a good share of the responsibilities after a child’s marriage. But, the scenario has changed over the last decade with the decline of the joint family system.”
Career and financial security is also another factor which deters people from getting married. Shetty says, “People are getting more career-oriented and financially independent. Internet and the social media also play a crucial role in making marriage seem like a burden and instil the fear of losing one’s personal space and identity. Marriage is no longer a necessity for the younger generation.”
This is also a by-product of the booming economy according to Saxena. “Over the past decade, the economic prosperity in the country has led to children having a pampered upbringing. These children grow up into egocentric and self-centered adults who find it difficult to be responsible for themselves and their partners,” she says.
LACK OF FAITH
The survey also said 23.2% men and 21.3% women said “don’t believe” in the institution of marriage. Saxena says that this is because some people get affected by seeing the illeffects of marriage. She adds, “We see divorces happening among our family members and we read about them all the time. This is why so many people have lost faith in marriages.”
NO STRINGS ATTACHED
Not wanting long-term commitment was the reason for 26.3% men and 20.3% women who said in the survey that marriage was not for them. Saxena says, “The world is moving towards instant gratification and fast solutions. So, the idea of spending your life with just one partner seems too mundane. For many people, variety is the spice of life and they want to enjoy their life before settling down with just one partner.”
Another reason for aversion towards marriage could be because the concept of live-in relationships, are increasing in popularity in India. Says Shetty, “Live-ins are more acceptable in the metro cities and among the younger generations as the elderly and the conservative society doesn’t approve of this. More than copying the West, live-in relationships are about the independence they offer to couples. Such relationships also give couples a reality check. There are no legal bindings unlike in marriages.”