‘I am like the censor board at home’
Author Tahira Kashyap, who turns a director, says she is “very excited” about her short film
She is an accomplished author with books such as I Promise and Souled Out to her credit. Now, Tahira Kashyap dons the director’s hat with a short film, Toffee. She talks about her craft, husband Ayushmann Khurrana, and more.
Are you excited or nervous ?
I am very excited. I think I was waiting for it (smiles). It’s a beautiful space to be in. I like the job profile that I have as a scriptwriter and a director. I have always loved writing but be it writing or theatre — staging and directing plays — I always took it up as a side job and a passion. But when I realised what I was doing I thought to myself, ‘God, this is what I want to do.’ So the day I took that decision, I made Toffee.
Is a feature film next in line?
I have written a few [scripts] and I am in talks. Things might happen but it’s too early to say anything. I want to explore this space, so let’s see where my journey goes.
Do you and Ayushmann discuss work with each other?
Yes. I narrate everything that I write first to him. I have written three scripts and he has already read them. I am like the censor board at home (laughs). I have read all of his scripts and they have gone via me. I can proudly say that (smiles). We started out as friends and I am really happy to say that we are friends first and then husband and wife. So, we can bluntly say anything to each other. We are honest and upright when it comes to the professional space.
Were you always interested in direction?
Honestly, I could never wrap my head around it. Sometimes, I felt it was too late, and then I was like, ‘What if my hubby’s reputation suffers if I make a stupid film’ (laughs). I don’t think the universe sends out these messages, but that’s a self-imposed restriction. Also, I come from a very padhaku [studious] atmosphere, with my mother being an educationist and my father being a journalist.
How did you come up with the concept for Toffee? This issue has always been very close to my heart, because I saw it happening myself. When I was a child, I used to go to a small town for summer vacations — Basti Sheikh in Jalandhar (Punjab), where my maternal grandparents used to live. It was the ’90s, so there was no Facebook, social media or Google, no cable TV, and incessant power cuts. The only way to have fun was to step out of the house, and so, I made a friend, Ritu, and it didn’t matter which class or society she came from. The idea was to have fun. Do all the major events in the film come from your own life? Ritu’s daily chores included wrapping toffees to help her earn ₹100, which would help support her family. So instead of feeling bad about it, all I wanted to do was wrap toffees with her and get out of the house to have a great time. So, this movie rides high on nostalgia, and it’s like a trip down memory lane. I am a ’90s kid, so you will also see a lot of references to that. What happened to Ritu? I lost Ritu to child marriage, but a recent event triggered those memories. I really wanted to address the issue and put across the story of two beautiful girls. You are an accomplished writer. What made you think of turning this story into a short film? I enjoy all these mediums. A part of me has always been into theatre, and I have directed my own scripts in Chandigarh as well as Delhi. It’s a completely different feeling to see your characters coming to life, and it brings a lot of emotions. I am delighted and thrilled to have explored films. I was all jittery and nervous on the sets, but somehow, I knew what I wanted to say and what my characters had to do. As writers, you can write leisurely, but as a director, there are length and time constraints… It’s a beautiful challenge. I wouldn’t call it an obstacle, because you can use 10 lines to explain a character raising an eyebrow [in a book], but on the screen, it’s just an expression by an actor. That really excites me, since every actor has a different way of expressing themselves. I am very fascinated by human beings. Even Toffee has a lot to do with human emotions. You can say that I am obsessed with the human brain (laughs). You have also been teaching mass communication, right? I have been a biotechnology student and a mass media lecturer. Writing and theatre have always been my passions, but I never knew I could make it my career. But for the last two years, all I have been doing is writing, because I decided this was what I wanted to do. This is what brings happiness to me, and whenever I write something, I always envision it. When I write something, I actually see the characters doing the same things in real life. Did you ever feel any pressure of being Ayushmann’s wife? As I mentioned, all the restrictions were self-imposed. It does play on your mind that you don’t want to put the other person’s reputation at stake, but you also need to give yourself some respect. I am so glad that I am out of that nascent stage of life, but I think it was a learning experience. You are your own person, so once you start treating yourself as an individual and as a separate entity, the world also sees that. Honestly, since this is absolutely new, I am excited and nothing feels taxing. I’m looking forward to writing more and making more movies. But yes, books take much longer, at least for me. Movies also require a certain amount of time. Both are in their own places and I don’t find either of them taxing at all. I am looking forward to doing it more. What is less taxing — films or writing?