HOW TO GET YOUR EX BACK
As news of a Florida woman taking help of a text service to get her ex back wins the internet, experts tell us how to rekindle romance with the one that got away
Natalie Iraola (28) from Miami, Florida met her now husband, Diego (32) at a house party when things quickly got serious. However, after moving in together, the pair found things too “intense” and decided to go their separate ways two months later. Iraola, who believed Diego to be the one, searched on the internet ‘How to get your ex-boyfriend back’ and found a text service that promised to guide her through the process.
In a video clip, Iraola narrated her experience: “It (the service) focused not on getting your ex back but making yourself a better person, so much so that your ex wants you back. For instance, I received a message on no contact rule for an x amount of time.” While the text service emphasised on “not being desperate” and “not texting your ex emotionally”, here are some other expert approved ways to get your ex back if you also believe they were really the one.
Things to do: TAKE IT SLOW
The texts, dinners and intimacy will all seem alluring; it would be exciting that you and your ex are going to be together again, but hang on. Pause for a while and take things slow.
FIGURE OUT WHAT YOU NEED
Certainly, there were reasons why you broke up in the first place. Analyse things in terms of goals and needs. For example, think about what was missing the last time and if that will be fulfilled this time around. Or, do you feel your partner took you for granted and if that will not be the case this time.
REASON FOR GETTING BACK TOGETHER
Ask yourself the reason why you want to get back together. Is it because you’ve dated other people since your last breakup and realised your ex was the one for you? Ponder on why getting back to your ex would be a better option.
Other things to keep in mind are trying to understand your ex’s present situation and readiness to get back. Show a friendly and positive attitude towards them, express your feelings at a suitable time in an honest way, discuss the issues that had affected you earlier and find mutually acceptable solutions.
Things to avoid: DO NOT INVOLVE YOUR EX’S FRIENDS, FAMILY
You may feel chatting with your ex’s siblings or friends will help, but it might backfire. Seeking their help might make you look desperate to get back.
DO NOT IGNORE YOUR EX’S FEELINGS
You may have had your own reasons to call off the relationship, but a break-up is a two-way street. Hence, you also need to consider your former partner’s feelings and feedback regarding the same. Listen to what they have to say rather than highlighting your own issues alone.
Other than these, stop dwelling on problems and conflicts on your own. Do not express any kind of jealousy towards their new love interests, do not put them down for their earlier mistakes or habits that you didn’t like and avoid getting back if it’s for revenge or settling scores.
(Inputs by relationship experts Gunjan Ryder and Shivani
Misri Sadhoo)