‘Women give us cues’

I’m a Hindu woman and I’m in love with a Sikh man. We love each. He is perfect for me, but my parents won’t allow us to marry. His parents love me and they know about us. Please help.

SP

I love it when answers are in the question like 1X0=0 or who loves you? (where you and who are two star crossed lovers in China). Or are dogs man’s best friend. So, your question is also your answer. If his parents are supportive that 5%, 50% is pass mark in all primary schools across India. It’s good enough, better than both set of parents being against you. Keep the dialogue open with your parent, tell them about the spirit of Christmas, give them a stocking each filled with presents. Meantime, you already have a support system in place for you (you here is not the Chinese lover but you you).

I love a girl from my locality. We are friends on Facebook. But she has a boyfriend who upsets her all the time because of his silly problems. I cannot see that. What should I do?

Prince

Shut your eyes. Look away, watch television. Sleep. The possibilities are endless, but let’s remember the Egyptian God King. (he said he was part God, no evidence supports it). Hutatsh King Hatateh was in love with his stepsister who in turn complained about her other step brother Mahyanee who was sick of her complaining and her refusal to share his bed which, granted, was 4,000ft wide, yet only 5ft in length. King Hutatleh had them both boiled alive and eaten by moths. Though in his memories he couldn’t remember which he had done first. Please don’t follow the King’s example. She seems to think of you as just a friend. Comfort her if you want, but let her know your true intentions, but not in a creepy way. Please don’t ask me how to do this. If I knew, I’d never have any love problems myself.

I was deeply in love with a guy. But he dumped me because of a scooty. He had given me an ultimatum to learn the scooty in three months, but I failed. What do I do now? NK

NK , put a moustache on him and start haiing him. Who is he, the great dictator? President Obama? The Queen of England? Okay, cancel the last one, he cant be the Queen of England, I’m watching her on TV as I write this and he’s not her. NF a guy who’s giving you an ultimatum doesn’t respect you. He is treating you as an employee. Sack him, then learn how to drive a scooty and drive over his foot. But, slowly. Let’s not hurt anyone. Now if you’ll excuse me, the Queen of England is wishing me Merry X’mas. Wonder if she knew how to drive a scooty.

I am in love with a pretty girl, but I have been unable to confess. I have this geeky image because I study too much and I love it. I don’t know if she loves me. What should I do?

ILM

ILM carry on your inner obligations. Why spoil your Christmas or mine? Women give us cues if they like us. Take a look at the animal kingdom. Some female seals roll over, the porpoise smells her own tail to show interest. Snails set their shells on fire. Most women aren’t snails but a) does she maintain eye contact b) when she maintains eye contact does she dig her nose c) while digging her nose, does she answer the phone? Actually, I’m not sure what the cues are. But if your not getting the vibe, don’t jump the gun. Wait. There’s work to be done. You’re a work in progress. But let’s restart after the New Year, shall we?