This is the next level af­ter Kiki. Just trust me


My un­cle Ein­stein used to say, “There are only two things in­fi­nite — the uni­verse, and hu­man stu­pid­ity.” I have a feel­ing he knew about the Kiki chal­lenge 70 years ago. See, there are fewer con­crete proofs of col­lec­tive hu­man stu­pid­ity than a spec­tac­u­larly dimwit­ted dis­play of peo­ple jump­ing out of mov­ing ve­hi­cles and danc­ing along­side them. Mat­lab, yeh hui nah baat…yeh level hi kuchh aur hai. How else will we unite the world? Of course, by be­hav­ing like id­iots, ir­re­spec­tive of the dif­fer­ences in race, colour or caste. And that’s ex­actly what the world is do­ing right now, via Drake’s lyrics: “Kiki, do you love me”.

And those who have taken sanyas from news and are cur­rent af­fairs-chal­lenged must know that bechare Drake ka koi fault bhi nahi thaa. The Cana­dian rap­per sang a per­fectly okay song, In My Feel­ings, but then web co­me­dian Shiggy posted a video danc­ing to it out­side a mov­ing ve­hi­cle with its pas­sen­ger door open, and thus was born the id­iocy called the #Kik­iChal­lenge. And then ev­ery­one started adding their per­son­alised, lim­ited edi­tion stu­pid­ity to it and mak­ing dif­fer­ent ver­sions of it. There is one where a clas­si­cal dancer is try­ing to match her moves to the pace of the mov­ing car; there is a woman in blue salwar kameez flaunt­ing shades and adding her valu­able con­tri­bu­tion to the lu­nacy.

Then there are these three young guys in Mum­bai who de­cided to do Kiki with a mov­ing train, and landed up in jail. The oth­ers must have landed up in man­holes or hos­pi­tals. And for what? The thrill of tak­ing up a chal­lenge? Bhai, wah! It’s like that joke I read — Boy 1: “Jump off the cliff” Boy 2: “No way!” Boy 1: “#JumpOf­fTheClif­fChal­lenge” Boy 2: Jumps.

Well, this is what we’ve come down to, peo­ple. Ut­ter non­sense is be­ing doled out, and well, re­ceived, in the name of thrills. This chal­lenge is crazy in par­tic­u­lar be­cause of the risks in­volved. You could se­ri­ously harm your­self while try­ing to get out of a mov­ing ve­hi­cle and fo­cus­ing on mak­ing silly moves for the cam­era while mov­ing with it. You could also harm oth­ers in the process. And frankly, what’s the achieve­ment in be­ing able to do it? Stray dogs in In­dian streets have been ac­ing the Kiki chal­lenge for years now — with ev­ery car that comes their way. Even our very own species has in­dulged in it long be­fore Shiggy or who­ever thought of it. Re­mem­ber the song Jaanu Meri Jaan from the 1980 Bol­ly­wood film Shaan, where Amitabh Bachchan and Shashi Kapoor suc­cess­fully did the chal­lenge with a mov­ing bus, ex­cept in the safety of shoot­ing sets.

Achha, let’s go back to the black-and-white era. Kishore Ku­mar took up the chal­lenge in Chalti Ka Naam Gaadi in 1958. Just that he didn’t know that it was a chal­lenge with a hash­tag. He also didn’t know that a few gen­er­a­tions later, some fi­rang guy would con­vince the whole world to feel a sense of ela­tion in do­ing it. AND he didn’t know that a lot of them would get into big trou­ble for it.

Be­cause here’s the thing. The po­lice de­part­ments of sev­eral coun­tries, in­clud­ing those of four In­dian states, have — hold your breath — is­sued for­mal warn­ings against any­one try­ing the Kiki Chal­lenge (kill me, please). The three young men caught do­ing it with the Mum­bai lo­cal train have been con­victed by the court and asked to do com­mu­nity ser­vice for three days at the same sta­tion where they were em­bar­rass­ingly caught mak­ing imag­i­nary hearts with their hands. Mat­lab too much ho gaya hai and the cops are get­ting in­volved. It’s clearly not just maha stupid, but also maha risky. So here’s the thing:

* If you want thrills in life, there are safer ways.

* If you want likes on so­cial me­dia, there are some beau­ti­ful, stupid, but non-risky ways.

* If you’re keen on get­ting ar­rested, there are sev­eral ways of do­ing so that will not in­volve the cops ar­rest­ing you and laugh­ing at you at the same time. Con­tact the nearby po­lice sta­tion for more info on this.

Just grow up, please. No, wait. #GrowUpChal­lenge. There.

Sonal Kalra asked Chad­dha Ji to take the Kiki chal­lenge. He said he takes it everyday be­cause Kiki is Mrs Chad­hha’s nick­name. Damn. Mail her at sonal.kalra@hin­dus­tan­times. com or face­ son­al­kalraOf­fi­cial. Fol­low on Twit­ter @son­al­kalra


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