‘Don’t count things as breakups, if you always keep getting back together’

Last year, during an outstation trip, I met a guy at the airport. We exchanged numbers, but never spoke. Recently, he messaged me that he will be in the city and wants to meet me. I am dating someone else. Should I still meet him?

NT NT, this is clear case of Col Ben Parker’s Law of Convenience. In the battle of the little By Horn, (now Lake Powai), Lt Colonel George Armstrong Custer, was supposed to have been reinforced by Col Ben Parker’s forces. But Col Ben Parker had just had a huge lunch of Mexican food that played havoc with his stomach. So he conveniently didn’t show up, and Custer and his men were slaughtered. Similarly, this guy has ignored you for a year and now that he’s convenient, in the city, he wants a temporary hobby or play thing. It’s all to his convenience. Now, is it to your convenience, too? Well, that’s something you must answer. However, if you were happy with the guy you are dating, you wouldn’t have asked this question, in the first place.

For the last three years, we have been in an on and off the relationship. Now he seems to have gotten serious and wants to settle down with me for good. But my concern is that he has broken up with me every time in the past and also come back to me. Also, whenever we broke up, we have never dated other people. What should I do?

HG HG, don’t you eat Chinese food? And haven’t you read Chinese proverbs? Some are difficult to understand such as, “This land is the property of China”. Yet there are other simpler ones: Blows that don’t break your back, leave you with a nice tan. Your relationship mirrors this proverb. Don’t count things as break-ups, if you keep getting back together. And since you didn’t date anyone else, neither party had really broken up. It’s like how sometimes we say something, but we didn’t mean it. Yesterday, I asked a shopkeeper for ice but I actually wanted rice. Happens all the time. Looks like you’ve already settled down. So go ahead enjoy some Chinese food.

AT CYRUS @HINDUSTANTIMES.COM AND I’LL GIVE YOU SOME RELIEF…. ERR… THAT IS,

My parents want me to get married for a long time. I have been dating a woman for a year. She is our neighbour and my family members don’t like her. I know if I tell them of my choice, they will reject her. But I love her a lot. What should I do?

Naren Naren, take off all your clothes, wear only your socks. Then stand in front of the mirror. Then please ask yourself this question, “Who’s the boss?” Quickly answer it yourself, ‘I am’. By ‘I am’, I mean you are, not that ‘I am’. To further clarify, to you, you are the boss. To me, I am the boss. Also, make sure you are alone while doing this exercise, or you’ll find yourself in the ‘Me Too’ firmament. Naren, it’s your life. I get this question all the time. It’s ‘your’ life. You have to choose, and live with the decision. I’m not saying go against your parents. I’m saying take charge, convince all around you. Be the man. Be the ‘Boss’. Just don’t try to convince your family wearing socks. One of my friends recently broke up with his girlfriend of two years. And post this, we have been hanging out regularly. I think I am starting to like him. But his ex is also my best friend and if we start dating it will be kind of an awkward situation.

MM

MM, why should it be awkward? Shakespeare once told me, off the record: “That there’s nothing such as good or bad, but thinking makes it so”. Bear in mind, he was a professional thinker. So why can’t you date one guy, and be good friends with his friend? No problem there. Unless err.. and this is just a thought I’m putting out there, you like both the friends. That’s a totally different scenario. That becomes a dilemma for you. You become like a those Karnataka MLA’s who had to hide in a 7-star resort, as every party wanted to poach them. If that’s the case, you have some serious decisions to make. Unfortunately, H. Times can’t put you up in a 7star resort, till you make up your mind.