‘Letting go of love is something no university teaches as of yet’

I am a 16-year-old boy and I have a crush on a girl for more than three years now. We were close friends, but due to change in our academic streams, we don’t meet or talk much these days. I waited for a year for things to take a turn, but nothing has changed. Now, I just want to let go of my feelings. What should I do?

AS AS, first keep quiet. I need to do the maths. 16-3, equals to 13. You are in love since the age of 13. Now, 13 as you know is lucky for some. The good news is 94.77% of people who love something at 13, don’t love the same thing at 30. For instance, at age 13, I loved hopscotch, Maggi noodles, and eating detergent. Of the three, I have only retained (and that too only a passing), interest in, eating detergents. Mind you, eating detergent is still frowned upon by society at large, as it was then when I was 13 years old. Letting go of love is something, no university teaches as of yet. It’s a very boring, but true idiom, “time alone heals all wounds”. Find some other distractions to forget about your feelings. Any distraction, but eating detergents, please.

I am a 20-year-old girl and I have been chatting with one of my school friends. I asked him if we can meet someday. He agreed, but then there were no initiatives from his side. On the other hand, there’s one guy in my college who I think likes me and I wouldn’t mind knowing him either. I am confused about these two.

TS, let’s imagine that you are a Grand Slam. Let’s say you are the Australian Open. Now I’m sure you’ve been called many things in your life, but never the ‘Australian Open’. Now, please let me carry on. In your final, fighting over you is Djokovic and Nadal. Djokovic wants to win the title, but Nadal is too laid back, and not seriously interested. Obviously, Nadal will lose and Djokovic wins the title, also known as you. TS seems pretty clear cut. One guy has shown no initiative, so please try out the other guy. Phil Collins once wrote, “You can’t hurry love”, he then couldn’t complete the lyric as he was dealing with his own pain, caused by hair loss. While you can’t “hurry love”, you can’t just wait forever either. Let’s move to the other guy.

I am a 21-year-old girl and I have had a major crush on a boy from school. My feelings are getting stronger day by day. We aren’t friends as such but he knows me as a school mate. I don’t have the courage to even send a Hi to him over the chats. What should I do?

NS NS, firstly let me say your feelings are getting stronger for him every day because you haven’t really met him. Its why the Korean intellectual Jong Bae-Inn, wrote, “Want to kill a relationship? Then get to know the one you love”. I’m not being cynical. Just looking at the reality of human relationships. Let me tell you we are not alone. This is why the mountain gorilla only mates with females he hasn’t met before. Of course, he’s very secular and mates with every single female he’s never met before. But you are not a mountain gorilla, from all accounts, so let’s just examine your situation. The oldest ruse in the book is finding a common issue to talk about like bus routes to the school, teachers, subject’s pressure. You have to let him know you exist, otherwise, he’s never ever gonna know your feelings. The first step is just a casual conversation. Gauge his reaction. See if he starts talking. Love is always a work in progress ….er till you really get to know, the other party.

I am a 20-year-old boy. I met this girl at a place I am working at and she seemed to be interested in me. We’ve been talking frequently and things were all well till the last one week. However, these days she has not been responding the way she used to before. Is she losing interest in me?

AB, the first order of discussion, the first point in our power-point presentation, the first official testament is, (and how do I put this politely), what the hell happened in last week? There are only three options: (a) she got lost and is missing, (b) you said or did something to put her off, and (c) she felt uncomfortable with how quick things were going. By the way, point (c) leads to point (b), which would also conclude in point (a). (c) = (b) = (a). I suggest the opposite response. Pull back for a while. If after a week or so more, she makes no effort to connect, chances are she wants to move in another direction. I say don’t confront her, for now. Also, please think about what you could have said or done to make her grow distant. I remember a girl once broke up with me because I wore a very tight shirt in public. Of course, it may also have been because it was her shirt in the first place. Play it cool, for now.