Is your partner ‘pocketing’ you? Here’s how to tell
There can be many reasons why couples don’t want to make their relationship public. But there are times when one person makes deliberate attempts to hide the relationship, at the cost of making their partner feel invisible. This toxic relationship trait, known as pocketing, can be frustrating for many.
“Pocketing, or stashing, is a cause for concern in any relationship. It occurs when someone fails to introduce their partner to others despite dating for an extended period,” says Dr Chandni Tugnait, psychotherapist. “This behaviour is often unhealthy as it reflects a lack of commitment and can lead to mistrust and insecurity within the relationship. You must talk things through with your partner if you have any suspicions regarding this destructive behaviour,” she adds.
She lists five common reasons of why people pocket:
COMMITMENT ISSUES
Some people are not prepared to commit to a serious relationship or are afraid of making it official. They may be afraid of committing too soon and regretting later.
FEAR OF JUDGMENT
They may worry that their loved ones won’t approve of their partner for various reasons.
SEEING OTHER PEOPLE
Sometimes, people may pocket their partner because they may not want their other partners to find out about their relationship.
AVOIDING CONFLICT
In some cases, people might think that revealing their relationship would cause conflict within their social group or family.
TO MAINTAIN CONTROL
Pocketing someone can be a subtle form of manipulation. They may want to keep their partners to themselves and not share them with others.