ON MANY NIGHTS, WE SLEPT IN THE CAR, ON AN EMPTY STOMACH BECAUSE OF A FIGHT
TThe actor recalls growing up in a household fraught with violence and abuse
he trauma that comes with growing up in a household with domestic violence is unlike any. And Ishq Ka Rang Safed star Snehal Rai experienced it firsthand as a child. Talking about the experience for the first time publicly, the actor tells us, “My very first memories of witnessing domestic violence are from the age of nine, when I did not even understand what that term exactly meant. There were several nights when we slept in the car, on an empty stomach because of a fight between the parents that would ultimately lead to domestic violence. Mom would make it seem like a game for us: ‘Chalo aaj car mein soyenge’. Kitni baar ghar me khaana banta tha aur dustbin me chale jaata tha. [My mother] would have bruises on her face and she would hide it all behind a smile. Isliye kabhi samajh hi nahin aaya ki mummy maar kha rahi hai... Gaaliyan kha rahi hai.”
The cycle of abuse came to an end only after Rai came in the firing line after she intervened one day. “That was the moment my mum decided that she had to take a major step. She took me and sister and moved out to start a new life. Uske baad jo humne struggle kiya hai, I can’t define in words. We lived in a chawl and did not have money to buy food. I remember how we would ask the paani puri wala to make it so spicy ki usko khaate hi paani peena pade. We would fill up our stomachs with water and sleep. That might sound like an old Hindi film, but it’s the story of my life,” recalls Rai.
The abuse was every bit psychological, too, the 28-year-old shares, adding that access to milk and other food items was often cut off for her mother and herself — rendering childhood a very unhappy time for Rai. “It gave me traumas, sleepless nights and anxiety.
I did not have friends because other students did not like that teachers never said a word about my short attendance. Teachers were supportive because they knew about my problems at home,” she says.
As one is often wont to under such circumstances, she had to mature beyond her years and start working when she was just 16. “I worked as a salon receptionist in the morning and at a call centre by evenings. I have reached this point after a lot of struggle and hence I felt that now is the right time, to speak about it,” she signs off.
[My mother] would have bruises on her face and she would hide it all behind a smile. Kabhi samajh hi nahin aaya ki mummy maar kha rahi hai. SNEHAL RAI, Actor