City res­i­dents are open to re­mar­riage

De­bate de­lib­er­ates upon the im­pact of on chil­dren’s psy­che

HT Ludhiana Live - - Htclassifieds - An­shu Seth an­shu.seth@hin­dus­tan­times.com

Spring­ing a sur­prise on the panel of ex­perts con­ven­ing the de­lib­er­a­tions on “Pu­nar­vivah or re­mar­riage”, ac­tive au­di­ences of more than 60 pro­jected stark re­al­i­ties at­tached to the so­cial is­sue.

The au­di­ences were de­lib­er­at­ing on the sub­ject dur­ing a de­bate or­gan­ised in Lud­hi­ana un­der the aegis of Zee tele­vi­sion.

The un­am­bigu­ous ap­proach of the au­di­ence, a ma­jor­ity of whom were be­tween 45 and 65 years, prompted the de­bate to­wards the prob­lem of in­creas­ing di­vorce rate in the coun­try and the rea­sons for the same.

Moder­a­tor Kum Kum Chad­dha, for­mer na­tional news ed­i­tor of the Hin­dus­tan Times, while shar­ing her ob­ser­va­tions said, “It is rather sur­pris­ing that Lud­hi­ana res­i­dents are more open to re­mar­riages as com­pared to Chandi­garh, where even the

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youth are op­posed to the idea of re­mar­riage.”

She also pointed to­wards the NRI mar­riages, which have be­come the lead­ing cause of di­vorce in Pun­jab. “The cases are no more re­stricted to girls get­ting mar­ried to set­tle over­seas as the boys are equally keen to go abroad and it is ev­i­dent from the in­creas­ing di­vorce cases filed by the boys and their par­ents liv­ing in Pun­jab,” shared Kum Kum Chad­dha.

Other pan­elists in­cluded so­ci­ol­o­gist Su­nita Arora, Dr Harmeet, a con­sul­tant psy­chi­a­trist at the civil hospi­tal, Mohali, Ashok Mit­tal, an em­i­nent lawyer, Rav­inan­dan Sharma, pres­i­dent of the Aad­har Foun­da­tion and Tele­vi­sion, and film script writer and di­rec­tor ID Sandhu.

An au­di­ence, Sar­want Kaur, raised her voice in favour of re­mar­riages as she em­pha­sised upon the miss­ing com­pat­i­bil­ity in some mar­riages, which ac­cord­ing to her be­comes an un­bear­able bur­den for the cou­ples.

“A cou­ple in our re­la­tions is liv­ing to­gether for the past 20 years, but are un­happy and do not even want to see each other’s faces. Their chil­dren are the only rea­son that they are to­gether, but I feel in such cases the chil­dren should take the ini­tia­tive and al­low them to sep­a­rate and re­marry a per­son of their choice,” de­bated Kaur.

How­ever, an­other so­cial ac­tivist pro­nounced re­mar­riage in case of sep­a­rated cou­ples as noth­ing but an easy way out, which he said was a ma­jor cause be­hind the in­creas­ing di­vorce rate in the coun­try.

Are di­vorcees or wid­ows not en­ti­tled to start over afresh? The de­bate on “Pu­nar­vivaah” also ques­tioned the dou­ble stan­dards that In­di­ans dis­play to­wards the is­sue of re­mar­riage: While men can eas­ily re­marry, the con­ser­va­tive sec­tions of In­dian so­ci­ety frown upon women who wish to re­marry. Why the gen­der bias?

The dis­cus­sion also con­sid­ered cases of di­vorcees or wid­ows who al­ready had chil­dren from their first mar­riages.

The dis­cus­sion de­lib­er­ated on the im­pact of their mar­riage on the psy­che of their chil­dren.

Are most chil­dren typ­i­cally re­sis­tant to­wards their new step­par­ent? Can their neg­a­tiv­ity be won over through love and af­fec­tion in the longer run? Does hav­ing a caring fa­ther/ mother fig­ure (even if it is not their own bi­o­log­i­cal par­ent) help their holis­tic growth and de­vel­op­ment?

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