WHAT MEN THINK

Men have come up to Ghose after the play to share their reactions. Some have broken down in tears, while others admitted to having sleepless nights. These reactions are heartening. They suggest that the traditional connotations of mardangi or masculinity are being challenged. “When I was younger, masculinity meant superiority. Because I’m a man and possess male organs, I felt that I was automatically superior to the women in my family,” admits Ravindra Keskar, a retired engineering professor based in Goregaon East. For the 76-year-old, whose patriarchal ways ended his first two marriages, the change in perspective was brought on by a six-day gender sensitisation workshop conducted by Satish Singh in 2000. “He began respecting me and my decisions. He started supporting me and understanding my beliefs and opinions,” says his wife Bharti, a social worker who focuses on gender issues. Keskar takes every opportunity to redefine masculinity for young boys and sensitise them towards the other gender. But the challenge, he believes, lies in the older generation which continues to be stuck in their ways.

Changing a man’s perspective is just as important as empowerment and assertion of women, believes Harish Sadani, who founded Men Against Violence and Abuse (MAVA) in 1993 and has been working diligently towards gender sensitisation among men. “They need not be mutually exclusive agendas. Doesn’t a person belonging to the 'oppressor' class/ caste/gender have a role in class/caste/gender struggle,” he questions.

Unlike Keskar, Sadani grew up in a more gender-neutral environment. He was used to helping his aunts around the house in the chawl he shared with his joint family. Apart from his aunts and a sensitive father who encouraged dialogue with the women in his family, it was actress Smita Patil who really influenced Sadani’s early feminist leanings. “I was a huge fan of hers and I used to admire the empowered roles she played