‘If I have children, I’m going to ask them to ask me, Why’
Actor, most recently seen as the agoraphobic single young woman in psychological horror film, Phobia, and as the wife of a Tamil don in Rajinikanthstarrer Kabali; Radhika Apte, 32, will be seen in Parched and Bombairiya next; a trained dancer, she’s the
Ithink freedom comes with being organic. It is as natural as the ocean, the rain, the trees, or when a baby is born and cries. It needs to be so basic that there is no question of not having the freedom to do something. Then again, freedom doesn’t mean being irresponsible with regard to other living beings. once had a dream that I had a daughter. She is really small and we visit my parents. My dad tells her, “Just go bring this, just go play there,” and all she says to everything that my dad asks her to do is, “Why? Why?” My father says, “What have you done to her?” And I am the proudest person ever. I think the dream stemmed from my memories of my dad telling me to do things and me never asking why. If only I had—that was the answer. If I have children, I’m going to ask them to ask me ‘Why?’
I learned the freedom to question in my school, Aksharnandan. It was a small Marathi-medium school started in Pune by parents who didn’t want to send their children to regular schools. There, one of the few things they hammered into us was to ask anything that was on our mind. To a degree that we would constantly bother the teachers with our questions. Nothing is insignificant when it comes to questions. Nothing suggests that you are illiterate.
There is too much hierarchy in our country. There is inequality when it comes to gender, caste, economic status, language .... When I travelled abroad, be it backpacking across Europe or studying at the Trinity Laban Conservatoire of Music and Dance in London, I realised that people were so open and curious and asked questions without worrying about whether the other person would think them to be idiots. The mindset is: No, I don’t know and I need to know. I don’t care what you think of me, but I need to ask you this. The fear of embarrassment just vanishes. You develop confidence. You become humble when you fearlessly ask questions. I have realised that in relationships too, not enough questions are asked. People just assume. What you need is discussion and questioning.
This love for questioning has seeped into my work as well. I can be quite annoying as I ask my directors a lot of questions. I don’t know any other way. Even if it’s a film I’m not remotely interested in and I’m doing it merely for money, then I ask them what they want me to do and why, so that I don’t mess up a take. You should know what they want so that you can deliver accurately.
(As told to Suhani Singh)