NAWAZUDDIN SI DDIQUI: FAME & SHAME
Days before the backlash began, Nawazuddin Siddiqui already seemed to be regretting some of the revelations in his now- withdrawn memoir. Perhaps he’d heard that two former girlfriends were unhappy with how they’d been depicted. Or maybe he was just having second thoughts about how much he’d revealed. These are tricky times for privacy and relationships.
“The fact that I may end up offending people close to me— from family to those in the film industry— did play on my mind, even when I was working on
[ the book],” he told india today.
Soon afterward, actress Sunita Rajwar, whom Siddiqui calls his first love, was blasting him on Facebook. Niharika Singh, his co- star in Miss Lovely, was accusing him of adding masala to their brief 2009 relationship to spice up a dull story. And Siddiqui was bending over backwards to apologise and pull the book from stores.
Siddiqui says he never intended the book to be a tell- all or the story of his success. He thought of it as the story of his struggle to make the big time from a small town in Uttar Pradesh. Pain, frustration and depression do not go away so easily, and he dredged up many experiences that he wanted to keep in the black box of memory.
His tweeted apology for “hurting sentiments” suggested that he’d strayed into an awkward communal remark. But the objections that Rajwar and Singh have shared publicly suggest that his offences were more personal. In a spirited Facebook post that accuses him of crossing “the lines of decency”, Rajwar objects to his claim that she dumped him because his career wasn’t taking off, saying, “I broke up with you because you were making fun of our relationship, sharing personal details of it with common friends.”
Singh issued a public statement that bites closer to the bone, implying that he lied about or misrepresented her behavior in the bedroom. “When he paints me as a woman in fur enticing him into her bedroom with candles, or desperately calling him and mailing other women on his behalf, I can only laugh,” Singh said. “He obviously wants to sell his book and it would appear that he is willing to exploit and disrespect a woman just to do so.”
The timing of the controversy may have something to do with the speed of Siddiqui’s retraction. The claims here are trivial in comparison to those that have begun to hit powerful men ranging from George H. W. Bush to Kevin Spacey in the wake of the wave of accusations of sexual harassment and sexual assault that overtook Hollywood producer Harvey Weinstein. But it’s wrapped up in the same issues of privacy, women’s sexuality and the court of public opinion.
The truth, though, is that a memoir would never have been a good idea. Bollywood thrives on gossip, of course. But the understanding is that this gossip will never be confirmed on the record by the parties involved. ( Look what happened to Kangana Ranaut.)
Even before the trouble started, Siddiqui said he would never have thought of writing the book if he hadn’t been approached by co- author Rituparna Chatterjee. He says he took it up as “an interesting and challenging project”.
In a discursive interview, the 43- year- old actor talked of his days as a striver who couldn’t pay his rent, the dozen- odd years he went without work, and first making his mark in a small role in Anurag Kashyap’s Black Friday. With an open, unrehearsed manner, he was not arrogant but clearly proud of what he’s achieved in independent cinema— and also perhaps a bit resentful of the “star culture”. “I don’t like to be called an alternative cinema actor,” he said. “For me, there is no distinction.”
Apart from making enemies, he was also worried that publishing a memoir could be seen as a premature declaration of victory.
“I am under no illusions. I don’t really think I have achieved anything significant as yet,” he said. “The day I start thinking like that, I will cease to grow as an actor, something that will devastate me completely.”
With his swift apology and retraction, he aims to make sure he gets the chance to keep growing.
The memoir is not a ‘ story of success’, but the story of Siddiqui’s struggle