Sex queries, answered
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I’m 25 and have been seeing my boyfriend for three years now. In the past year, things have become more physical. However, lately he’s become fascinated by ‘sex games’ and has been trying to get me to play along. But frankly speaking, I find it a real turn off. What do you think? Is it worth giving it a shot?
Hi Neetu. The physical aspect of a relationship can tend to get a little limp over the years. Partners do try myriad ways to keep the heat on. Some like candlelight dinners; others, more umm… interesting stuff! However, you are clearly not playing along. Are his ‘sex games’ too risqué? Are you finding them demeaning or dangerous? I suggest you talk to him and share what it is that is turning you off. Your safety and comfort are of utmost importance here. If it is just a natural shyness that is holding you back from participating, you might want to set your inhibitions aside and explore your intimacy further without being judgemental. If your bf’s sort of games don’t please you, why not suggest some of your own? You could place bets on simple trivia questions or board games – the prize could be a special treat between the sheets that the winner desires! Been bingeing on your fave Netflix series? Why not indulge in a spot of raunchy role-play as you both enact your fave characters? Sex doesn’t have to be a deadly serious business. Stretching your boundaries once in a while can have the most livening effect. Of course, provided you are happy to play along!
Sex isn’t just about the intercourse, it’s important to relax and enjoy intimacy in all its wonderful glory via kissing, cuddling, manual stimulation etc.
I’m walking down the aisle in a couple of months, and as I’m sure is common, I’m being been teased a lot about my wedding night. It’s all good fun and I get that. However, someone a bit on the nasty side made a comment about my weight and how that would make my wedding night ‘interesting’. I am overweight and that has never been a problem for me or my fiancé, but I have started wondering about whether or not being overweight makes a difference when it comes to having sex. What are your thoughts? Akshi Lokhande, Mumbai
Jab miya biwi raazi, mean comments from ‘well-meaning’ friends are best ignored! No sweetie, I doubt your being overweight would create any problems on your wedding night, since neither you nor your fiancé seem to have an issue with your weight. Sex isn’t just about the intercourse, it’s important to relax and enjoy intimacy in all its wonderful glory via kissing, cuddling, manual stimulation etc. You both might want to experiment with positions that work better for you. A modified missionary position in which you place pillows under your hips is said to work well. Spooning (side by side), and doggy style (rear entry) also come recommended. With creativity, a few adjustments, and loads of desire - given you will be just-marrieds! - there’s nothing to stop your sex life from getting off to a roaring start. That said, do not take it as carte blanche to pile on additional pounds post the wedding day. Research proves that obesity brings with it conditions such as high cholesterol, high blood pressure and diabetes, which result in problems with libido, sex drive and sexual performance. Extra weight also stresses the knees and other joints, and makes certain sexual positions uncomfortable. So, let’s keep it a little light, shall we?