Re­la­tion­ship Savvy

Dr Kersi Chavda gives Bha­vana Choud­hari nine sure-shot point­ers to rekin­dle love in mar­riage.

Savvy - - Contents -

Re­vive your dead mar­riage… now!

Mar­riages need love, trust, truth, pa­tience, kind­ness and un­der­stand­ing. When a mar­riage is de­prived of such things, it can slowly be­gin to die. Psy­chi­a­trist Dr Kersi Chavda gives you tips to re­vive your dead mar­riage…

There are many com­mon prob­lems in mar­ried life and a lot of them can be avoided. Like phys­i­cal­ity, in-law is­sues, child and par­ent­ing (where both par­ents have very dif­fer­ent view­points on bring­ing up their kids), and fi­nance. One has to look at these is­sues very care­fully and take proac­tive steps to en­sure that they don’t af­fect the mar­riage.

— Treat your spouse as the most im­por­tant client in your life. You def­i­nitely wouldn’t want to lose your client or wouldn’t want your client to say that I’m not in­ter­ested in work­ing with you. Al­ways treat your hus­band/ wife as if he/ she is the most im­por­tant client in your life. Then you’ll do ev­ery­thing you can to woo him/ her and en­sure he/ she doesn’t leave you.

Don’t take your spouse for granted. You’ll might have been mar­ried for many years, but you still have to work at it. Ap­pre­ci­ate and en­joy your mar­riage.

— Make sure you’ll spend spe­cial ‘me’ time to­gether. It is es­sen­tial that you have cou­ple time, which is to­gether and not with friends, fam­ily or chil­dren. — Phys­i­cal in­ti­macy is an im­por­tant part of any mar­riage. What hap­pens is that af­ter a few years of mar­riage, a re­la­tion­ship loses its phys­i­cal­ity. By this, we cer­tainly don’t mean that a phys­i­cal re­la­tion­ship is the only thing that sus­tains a mar­riage. But it also shouldn’t be ne­glected.

— Treat your spouse as the most im­por­tant client in your life. You def­i­nitely wouldn’t want to lose your client or wouldn’t want your client to say that I’m not in­ter­ested in work­ing with you. Al­ways treat your hus­band/ wife as if he/ she is the most im­por­tant client in your life. Then you’ll do ev­ery­thing you can to woo him/ her and en­sure he/ she doesn’t leave you. — Give each other qual­ity as well as quan­tity time. We need to pri­ori­tise time for each other while do­ing our other es­sen­tial du­ties like go­ing to of­fice, look­ing af­ter chil­dren and par­ents, meet­ing friends etc... — Don’t ac­cept phys­i­cal abuse. — Ex­press your love more of­ten by telling your spouse how much you love him/ her.

Don’t ac­cept phys­i­cal abuse. If you know things aren’t go­ing right in your mar­riage or you’re un­happy - do some­thing about it. Seek help from a psy­chi­a­trist or men­tal health pro­fes­sional. Es­pe­cially when prob­lems like de­pres­sion and anx­i­ety or per­son­al­ity changes oc­cur, one should take help im­me­di­ately.

— If you know things aren’t go­ing right in your mar­riage or you’re un­happy - do some­thing about it. Seek help from a psy­chi­a­trist or men­tal health pro­fes­sional. Es­pe­cially when prob­lems like de­pres­sion and anx­i­ety or per­son­al­ity changes oc­cur, one should take help im­me­di­ately.

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