STORIZEN CONTRIBUTE
Confession
From the corner of my eyes, I saw Tanya, my daughter enter the kitchen. I gave her another five seconds and then, as I expected I heard the faint but unmistakable sound of the opening of the small box where I keep my money. I knew exactly how much money she is going take and how she is going to use it. I smiled affectionately, I know my daughter well – better than anybody else in the world. After a few seconds she came back with a guilty look on her face and stood in front of me.
“Mama, I am going to Ritika’s house, will be back soon.” She said avoiding my eyes.
“Sure dear, your dinner will be ready when you are back.” I smiled encouragingly, although I knew where she is going in reality and bade her goodbye.
While cooking dinner, just being very curious, I counted the money in my box and I was dead right, she has taken a single note of hundred rupees in the bulging wade; not more, not less. And that’s my sweet daughter Tanya, I just love her.
I know, I could very easily ask my dear hubby to raise her monthly allowance, but I will not do so, just because I know my daughter and she is a gem (in spite of her taking few notes now and then from the wade of my purse). I want to give her the thrill of taking money from my purse and a simple belief - that I never noticed. I have taken (Sorry, I will not use the word stolen here!)Money from my papa’s trouser pocket and mama’s purse, I never thought it as stealing, I would rather say ‘borrow’, if you can understand me! But, there is a thing which is worrying me to death, yes I am really worried. It’s not her money taking act or habit, it’s something else. It’s - it’s just that, she is in her late yet sweet teen and, yes, that is my biggest worry.
I still remember the day when I had an utterly serious conversation (for the first time in my life, I mean married life) with my husband, when my daughter was only two years old.
“You can’t even tolerate her for just ten minutes; just imagine how would I do it for 24 hours, every single day?” I had literally screamed the moment my husband brought my dirty daughter back from our little garden. Yes, it was a Sunday afternoon. “I – I don’t know Preeti, honestly, I just don’t know. Probably, that’s the reason you’re her mother and I am her father. I so dump; I can handle tens of assholes at the office but not a naughty daughter at home, yes that is my utter weakness, please understand me. I– I just can’t understand what she wants or what she is speaking, she is so – forget it. I am a loser, at least with my daughter, ain’t I?” He finished his last sentence coming very close to me. What can you tell such a husband?
All I could do is to kiss him and forgive.
Once Tanya returned home, my eyes noticed the little yet remarkable changes in the face of Tanya. I noticed a special glow on her chubby cheeks (courtesy beautician’s facial); I noticed the finely shaped eyebrows and I noticed the trimmed hairs of her. Indeed, she is looking very beautiful, just like Cinderella. I smiled inwardly as I understood that my money had served its purpose well. However, very soon my heart skipped a few beats when I remembered the occasion. Yes, that is the factor which is worrying me to death. I personally feel her father has
pampered her too much and given complete freedom. I, on the other hand, can only understand the sensitive issues.
“Papa tomorrow is Rohit’s birthday and he is taking us all to the lake city resort for a treat.
We shall come back before dark, I have already told mama.” Tanya said between her meals and looked expectantly at her father. Lately, she had cultivated this strange and irritating habit of informing us, rather than asking permission.
“Fine with me, enjoy yourself, dear.” That’s all my dear hubby said and I felt like slapping him hard on the face. It was so easy for her, no warning, no advice and most importantly, granted permission in a jiffy, just like that. Come on husbands! You can do better than that; grow up a bit, will you? My mind screamed at once.
Once I settled in our warm bed, my hubby brought his hand forward, but I pushed away with such force that he showed the expression of watching a horror movie. “What’s now? What did I do?” He asked after recovering from my sudden wrath.
“Can you please remember you are a father too?” I snapped.
“There is nothing wrong in ‘a father showing love towards his daughter’s mother’, or is there?” he asked sarcastically. That is one thing he is good at. “I am not talking about such silly things. For your kind attention, do you know what you have done during dinner?”I asked sharply.
“All I did is to eat my dinner, did I spill too much, I – I never noticed.” He said in utter confusion. Oh god! Why do you make husbands so insensitive? I screamed inwardly.
“You gave Tanya permission to spend a whole day with boys, especially Rohit,” I said biting my lower lip.
“Come on Adithi, what’s wrong in that? Let her enjoy her life. You and your traditional thoughts!” He said showing a disgust expression on his face.
“What if something goes wrong?” I challenged at once.
“What can go wrong? Nothing, she is almost eighteen and knows the world better, they are all just friends Adithi. You have been in teens too and you know how your father trusted you so much, you didn’t do anything wrong and so will our daughter, just relax and stop being such an old hag. I had thought of something else for tonight, anyway, now I am feeling very sleepy and thanks for your mood breakers.” My hubby said and covered himself with his thick blanket and turned away his body.
What could she be doing now? My mind asked the same question again and again. Singing and playing Antakshariwith friends or playing indoor games like table tennis or badminton with friends or exploring nature or –““Stop, just stop” I screamed outwardly. Nonetheless, my inner mind continued doing its work.
“Or kissing Rohit in a secluded place or even better, having her first time S-- (no, I don’t want to say that word aloud, at least in relation with my own daughter.) “Hum tum ek kamre mein band ho aur chabi Kho jayye -”
A song interrupted my maddening thoughts, of course, it was my favorite song and my mobile’s ringing tone.
“Hello,” I answered anxiously.
“Hello Mama, it is really fun here, we enjoyed like anything, and we will leave in an hour and reach home before six, ok? Mama?” Although, instinctively; I knew it was my daughter, I couldn’t answer her since I had noticed unknown fatigue of some kind in her voice. Was it as I predicted? Was it as I feared most? Or has something terrible happened? “Mama I am speaking to you.” She raised her voice suddenly.
“I know, I know.
Listen, Tanya, are you alright? I – I mean are you fine? Is everything ok?” I asked feeling very awkward. “Of course mama, it is you who sound sick. Are you alright?” She questioned me back.
“No – No dear, I am alright, I – I was just worried about
you. Now that you are fine and coming back soon, it will be ok, I will be waiting for you, and I hope they will drop you home.” I said recovering myself.
“Yes mama, don’t you worry about me. See you soon, bye.” My daughter, my Tanya, disconnected the line giving me an utter satisfaction of ‘her’ being safe (I just don’t want to think or talk about the latest Breaking news of Television’s cruel screen, at least now).
“God! Let her be home safely, take my life in return.” I prayed to God sincerely just because I knew even in just two hours many things can happen.
To be Continued