I CAN­NOT come up with a sin­gle, plau­si­ble ex­pla­na­tion for why Jan­nat 2 is called Jan­nat 2. Em­raan Hashmi’s char­ac­ter died in the first in­stall­ment. No, he hasn’t dropped down from jan­nat as a rein­car­na­tion. Ac­tu­ally, I’m not quite sure he even made it to heaven af­ter the last film. Jan­nat 2, by all means, is a com­pletely dif­fer­ent film.

Small-time arms dealer Sonu Dilli KKC (Hashmi), read Kutti Kamini Cheez, (does that go on his pass­port?) lives by his wits. And though he deals with ev­ery con­ceiv­able re­volver, ri­fle, taman­cha, band­hook, his front is a fab­ric out­let called “Ka­reena cut piece.” We never once come across it. Maybe it’s a front for a front? En­ter “Dilli Po­lice ki shaan” Pratap (Hooda), who’s de­ter­mined to track the big daddy of weapon trade. He ropes in Sonu as an in­former, promis­ing him “sharafat ki zindagi” with his lady love. Dr Jaanvi (Esha Gupta) is a stun­ning cross be­tween Angelina Jolie and Vanessa Wil­liams, but with all the ex­pres­sions of a bowl of atta. There’s no earthly rea­son why she’d fall in love with “sadak chaap” Sonu but pre­sum­ably love in Jan­nat 2 hap­pens on an­other sphere. The chem­istry be­tween Em­raan and Esha is simi-


lar to that of Uday Cho­pra and any­one — nonex­is­tent. In one scene, Sonu kisses his lady love and she slaps him. He slaps her back. But in­stead of get­ting up­set that a dirty dude had the au­dac­ity to raise his hand at her, she finds an en­dear­ing sachchai about him. How low is your self-es­teem, doc, that you be­lieve a pas­sive-ag­gres­sive hus­tler is your only chance at hap­pi­ness?

The real love story in the film is be­tween Pratap and Sonu Dilli — at least one cou­ple has some spark. Hooda as the al­co­holic cop, who spends most of the film in a liquored-up stu­por, is dark, brood­ing, and mo­rose. For some­one who survives on whiskey, peanuts and in­som­nia, he sure can run! Hooda’s is the stand­out per­for­mance of the film.

Run­ning close sec­ond is the riv­et­ing per­for­mance de­liv­ered by Esha Gupta’s bo­som. It has a life of its own, and fit­tingly, an en­tire song se­quence ded­i­cated to it. As for Hashmi, he should now stop kiss­ing lead­ing ladies just for shock value. He’s tired. We’re tired. And (hope­fully) Ku­nal Desh­mukh is too tired to make a Jan­nat 3!

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