FREQUENCY FALLACIES

Venu is confused. Some of her kitty party friends tell her that they have sex at least four times a week. Others say that they do so daily and still others proudly declare that they engage in intercourse twice or thrice in a single day. Venu’s own husband Prasad is sexually energetic and enthusiastic but he wants to have sex only twice a week. She is also happy with this frequency but in comparison to her friends, is she lagging behind? Is something wrong with her husband or her? Do they need to seek medical help?

All the surveys conducted so far throughout the world give a wide range of sexual frequency among the study population, making it difficult to infer what is normal. However, what has been observed is that in the initial years of marriage the frequency is high, followed by a gradual reduction and then stabilisation at a particular frequency as the marriage progresses.

The reasons for fluctuation in frequency are known to be: sexual boredom, family situations, lack of privacy, shift in priorities, socio- cultural factors and so on.

Delve deeper into the issue and you will find that a man tries to increase his frequency to assert his masculinity. Women, on their part, tend to attribute reduced frequency to the fact that they have already proved their femininity by producing children. A few tips: 1. Never compare. The contexts of intercourse differ from couple to couple. 2. Focus on quality and not quantity. 3. You need to satisfy only yourself and not the world. Sex is not a number game. 4. Sex does not mean ‘ in and out’ alone. Hugging, kissing etc. also entail quality. 5. If low frequency is really bothering you, then seek help.