‘Understand there is no universal path in marriage’
Q’m a single 30-year-old woman. I have a 26year-old sister who is married and had a baby. I’m really happy for her but my relatives make sure that they taunt me about my single status. In fact my parents too subtly remind me about my situation. I don’t want to settle down for the heck of it and they can’t bear to see an older single woman in the house. What do I do? Please help.
IIt is understandable that you do not want to settle down in marriage just because your parents are insisting or due to social pressure from relatives. Have you thought of getting married? What kind of a person are you looking for? Reflect on your beliefs about what a good marriage looks like. Are you thinking that relationships are too hard for you to invest your emotions in? When it comes to marriage, often you could be caught up with different expectations, needs, fears and experiences that usually come from our own families or past relationships.
Think aloud if you are holding on to some myths about marriage. Are you looking for someone who will fall in love with you? Someone who must make you happy? Someone who can read your mind and say and do things that pleases you? Understand that there is no universal truth in marriage such as being ‘perfect partners’ or having kids or finding happiness and true love. There needs to be a certain level of honesty, intimacy and positive regard for the person you marry. Be clear what marriage means to you and do not have unrealistic expectations of marriage and spouse.