The Asian Age

CONSIDER SETTING BOUNDARIES WITH YOUR FRIEND

- — This query has been answered by Dr N. Sucharita PhD, from Roshni Counsellin­g Centre, Hyderabad, 040-6666 1117/18 Write to us at feedback.age@gmail.com with “expert advice” in the subject line —PEXELS

QI’ve had this best friend for the last fifteen years. He recently got engaged to his girlfriend of five years. The thing is, I don’t think she likes me much and makes it rather obvious to me when we are hanging out. My friend too gets a little uncomforta­ble to hug me, which was very normal for us to do. I don't get good vibes from the girl, but I don’t think I should make it awkward by asking either of them what’s the matter. Please help.

It appears that your friend’s fiancée is insecure with the fact that her man is comfortabl­e with a female friend. You seem to be getting the vibes that she doesn’t approve this relationsh­ip. What are your feelings? Are you happy for your friend that he is tying the knot with the girl he loves? How do you feel to be in her position? It is not unusual about feeling insecure regarding friends of the opposite sex, when one is in a committed relationsh­ip. While these can be great during singlehood, in marriage these friendship­s can prove to be problemati­c. Having low selfesteem or being plain jealous might be some of the reasons for her to not like you as much. It could also be the fear that she might be discussed with you. When you intend to clear the air and talk to either of them about the awkwardnes­s be prepared that you might not come to a solution but they would make excuses for the other. Instead of making it embarrassi­ng for all involved, you can give some space for the relationsh­ip that you friend has moved into. Consider setting boundaries with your friend with a sense of maturity that relationsh­ips change over a period of time and be happy for your friend.

 ??  ?? It is not unusual for feeling insecure about friends of the opposite sex, when one is in a committed relationsh­ip.
It is not unusual for feeling insecure about friends of the opposite sex, when one is in a committed relationsh­ip.

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