‘It is time you are honest with yourself and the girl’

QI’m a 25-year-old man. Recently, I started dating a friend of mine but once we took things to the next level I started doubting if she really feels the same about me or not because she doesn’t express her feelings much. In the meantime, I met another girl, and we really connected and things got physical. However, I know there is no future with this girl and I’m now confused about who I should pursue and be with. Also, should I tell the first girl about my encounter with the second one? The two of us are not exclusive but I feel guilty nonetheless.

When you are dating someone on one hand and getting intimate with another with whom you see no future, it would certainly lead to pain and guilt. You are aware that there is no future with the other girl but got physical because it is convenient. If you are serious about this girl and feel that she is the one for you, be bold and work on the issues to have a fulfilling life with her.

When you are not feeling happy in a relationship but continue to stay together for the heck of it, you will end up being frustrated.

It is time you are honest with yourself and the girl whom you are dating about the lack of emotional attachment in your relationship and whether it can last long. You could either break up as you feel you are missing out on something or fully commit if you two can be loyal to each other.

You can’t have cake and eat it too. Be clear about your choices. You might have to be sincere with yourself and reflect on what you have learned from the incidents. What have you understood about yourself ? What do you want in a relationship? What do you want from your partner? Keep your priorities clear and work with an empathic therapist on your relationship dynamics. Good luck!