‘Lying for no real gain is linked to low self esteem’
QI am a compulsive liar, and honestly, I cannot stop. I lie to my colleagues, acquaintances, even closest friends and family. You’d think these are lies I come up with to save myself trouble, but really, I do this about the most random little things that do not need lying. I don’t know how to stop myself. When I confided in my sister, she suggested I visit a therapist, but I cannot get myself to do that. Can you please help me out of this? I need to stop urgently, but I don’t know how.
Your honesty about compulsive lying is commendable and indicates that you regret doing it. When people lie without any feelings of guilt or remorse, they exhibit lack of concern for other people. Sociopaths use lying to reach their goals by manipulating and deceiving others and do not have any fear of conscience in doing so. Unlike sociopaths, persons who are compulsive liars do so as a matter of habit, even when it is not required and have pangs of regret in the process. Lying is often done by children as means of claiming one’s freedom and control over what one can do. However, habitual lying leads them to become chronic liars.
Lying for no apparent gain or without any motive is closely linked to low self-esteem. Understanding why you feel a need to lie, and clarifying any misconceptions about lying, as well as exploring the effects of lying can be handled by a psychotherapist. You could benefit by seeing a therapist and getting screened for any emotional issues or mental health disorders. In such a case medications can help along with therapy. Good luck! — This query has been answered by Dr N. Sucharita PhD, from Roshni Counselling Centre, Hyderabad 040-6666 1117/18 Write to us at: feedback.age@gmail.com with “expert advice” in the subject line