VIOLENCE AT HOME

Many a time, husband's cruelty – physical and verbal is cited as a reason for seeking a divorce. While some may use this accusation to get a divorce easily, in reality most men high on male ego still harbor the myth that to control the wife, the man must be brutal.

Domestic violence is a brutal reality, rampant even in our times. Women continue to be tortured for reasons ranging from dowry to infertility or due to sheer callousness and greed of her husband and in-laws.

Mostly, it is a result of the deviant personality of the husband. His inability to manage his anger, his need to control and feeling of a sense of power over his wife manifest themselves in the form of domestic violence. This behavior not only causes her grievous injury but also preys on the psyche, paralyzing her strength and slowly killing her spirit. This also scars the children emotionally who are helpless witnesses to the act of terrorising.

Many men are under this warped illusion that to keep a woman on a tight leash, he needs to exercise his brute force and that doing so is a sign of masculinity. But, men don't need to use force in order to rule over wives. They can rule them by love and affection.

One may ask why a woman should put up with domestic violence, but only the woman in question would be able to answer that. The Domestic Violence Act of 2006 is a liberating step for many caged souls.

HOW CAN A WOMAN HELP HERSELF? Never ever tolerate violence, in any form. Once a victim, always a victim. If the husband shows signs of violent behavior, immediately bring it to the notice of your parents.

Enlist the support of a woman's organisation.

If the husband is willing, get him psychiatric help.

The writer is a sexologist. Mail him at dr.narayana @deccanmail. com