Dating during deprived times
As it turns out, the pandemic has changed many once-predictable patterns, including many tried-and-tested dating rules
No matter the severity of the lockdown, people have been finding newer ways to seek and make love, albeit with more hand-sanitisers and increased video chats and technology.
According to former serial dating expert and tattoo-artistturned-actress Mallika Chaudhuri, “It’s important not to deprive ourselves of our needs or dating just because we can’t go to a house-party. It’s not wrong to seek ways to find comfort and passion.”
Even relationship psychologist Sherin Bosko believes that there are still options for one to find genuine companionship even during tough periods that restrict access. “And it’s important to try and think out of the box.
You just need to adapt,” Sherin adds.
Here are some of the classic dating practices that have shifted status quo and ways around that.
‘LET’S GO TO THE BAR, BABE’
Spontaneous evenings were once the pinnacle of romance— pub-hopping with a dinner of well-chosen entrees and gelato on the way for dessert before the sweet kiss goodnight (or coffee or better yet breakfast in bed). Now, it’s mostly about impressing your date by nabbing a booking reservation at that hip new place down the street with social distancing, masks and tight deadlines for your last order.
Not surprisingly, ‘Let’s see where the night takes us’ has magically disappeared from the dating vocab for now—at least for the time being—given that many of us are still under the lockdown mode or have grumbling families watching our every move and with everything needing to be planned.
Financier and businessman Nitesh Bagmar points to innovativeness while dating. “It’s really helpful to think of new ways and to get creative, as opposed to meeting up with someone and just letting things happen. Instead, make more efforts to plan the evening and do as much as possible in that time,” he elaborates.
WHEN FRIENDS PLAYED CUPID
Now that we aren’t hanging out as groups, the prospect of coming across a dating match through a friend, or friend of a friend, is zilch. This has caused many dating hopefuls to get online and keep swiping until they find that ‘friend of a friend’ on a dating app.
“Those old ways of meeting people at a bar or those impromptu meetings at house parties, all that stuff has been completely trashed,” says Arun. “A lot of people I know, who never used online dating before, are feeling compelled to use online dating apps now.”
THE MAGIC IN A DIMLY LIT CINEMA
If handshakes are now out, then slyly reaching across the armrest to entwine fingers with a new date is probably off the cards, too.
Celebrity photographer Nithin Barath doesn’t find it too surprising. “When it comes to physical contact, people are a lot more cautious. While in some states, cinemas have opened up, people still have to sit one seat apart. And there’s definitely no romantic moments as cinemas have beefed up CCTV footage inside theatres. Security personnel are also on duty to check social distancing and whether patrons have masks on,
etc.,” he says.
FLING WITH A FIRANG
Not only can our lovelorn not travel to Thailand or Amsterdam and bag themselves a summer fling, no visiting Casanovas or femme fatale can make their way to our shores for a holiday romance either. However, serial dating expert and tattoo artistturned-actress Mallika says there’s no harm in dreaming about one in the future.
“It’s good to have some hope and something to look forward to, and holiday romances are fun. For now, people are chatting online with people overseas in the hope of meeting soon or finding a companion when they plan their next trip,” she states.
People are highly aware of COVID. So no one’s shaking hands; instead, now it’s all about the elbow bump. High-five is a thing of the past now, and everyone will probably spend a little longer talking to the cutie on the dancefloor before going in for the kiss
— Arun Venkatraman, political leader