Aurat ki jo izzat na kare, woh mard nahin, murga hai

Satyameva Jayate 2 (UA) 138 min

CAST: John Abraham, Divya Khosla Kumar, Harsh Chhaya, Gautami Kapoor DIRECTOR: Milap Zaveri RATING: ★★

In Theatres

What’s the point in being just thoda sa ridiculous, or zara-sa B-grade? Agar ridiculous hi hona hai, agar B-grade-panti karni hai, toh why not go fullon foolish and offensively trashy?

Satyameva Jayate 2 doesn’t have a story. It just has an urgent desire to make “Mera Desh Mahan”. And to do that it recruits the services of not one, not two, but three John Abrahams and all the Hindutva chauvinism and idiocy they can conjure.

Even in triplicate, John Abraham’s lack of acting skills remains a matter of concern for us and the film. So SJ2 doesn’t waste time on conversations because even three John Abrahams can’t string together one coherent sentence.

SJ2 is in mission mode and it sets off flailing its fists and ready to destroy all manner of evils with all manner of criminal, vigilante violence.

This is what happened in the 2018 Satyameva Jayate, but there was something mildly entertaining about that film. This one is just a loud harangue and dhishum-dhishum.

Milap Zaveri has written and directed Satyameva Jayate 2, which apparently is the “spiritual sequel” of Satyameva Jayate 1. But SJ2’s screenplay is just a hash of four things — swooning camera, rousing mandir music, one-liners and dhishumdhishum.

In this film no one talks. They all only maro seeti-bajao dialogue which fall in three neat categories: 1st is patriotic bombast. Sample: “Tan, Mann, Dhan se bada Jann Gana Mana”.

2nd, thigh-slapping, chestthumping boasts. Sample: “Itna peetonga ki zindagi bhar peeche se mootega, kyunki aage ka tootega”.

3rd, insults and threats issued to the privates and penile functions of bad men. Sample above, but also, “Aurat ki jo izzat na kare, woh mard nahin, murga hai”.

I think that in the actual dialogue in the film it was murda (dead person), and not murga (a rooster). But since I was grabbing at straws to stay awake, imagining all manner of men as pesky roosters kept me smiling.

S et in Uttar Pradesh, SJ2 is about a multi-generational fight again bhrashtachar that began 25 years ago with Dada Saheb Balram Azad (dhoticlad, moonch-wala farmer) in Varanasi but didn’t end well. It’s now being carried forward by his two betajis.

Satya Balram Azad (John 2) is

bespectacled politician in a kurta-pyjama and a casket-like vasket. He is sulky and has a wife who looks like she is the love child of Bhagyashree and the Kabootar who paid no heed to her ja-ja-ja. The other beta is ACP Jay Balram Azad (John 3), a bachelor cop whose tight buns, dimples and imbecile jokes make him and us smile.

The principled politician is state home minister, but his anticorruption bill is rejected. Suddenly a vigilante in a hoodie arrives who gets off on killing bad people in ways that require such elaborate planning and coordination that it would put the best event management companies to shame.

So ACP John is summoned with this incantation: “Toofan ko rokne ke like chattan chahiye hoti hai”.

B efore we proceed, you must understand that John 2 and John 3 are propelled by many things in their pursuit of jan-hit and insaaf.

One is their mommy who is in comma and occupying a room in Satya’s house.

Then there’s the fact that all politicians, doctors, businessmen, cops except them are so bad and corrupt.

But the most important reason is their daddy. Though dead, Dada Saheb Balram Azad’s expectations from his two betajis linger in his larger-than-life statue that is marching away from the Vidhan Sabha with a plough on his shoulder.

There’s a dialogue somewhere to explain Sr John’s determination and purpose. “Sher ki moonch, aur Azad ki poonch…”

Again, I am certain it was the other way round, but this too kept me entertained as I imagined his tail coiled under his sheer white dhoti along with all his scruples and sanskar.

To arouse the vigilante’s scorn, the film uses several recent events to create tragic episodes.

There’s the growing wedge between Hindus and Muslims, vote-bank politics, food poisoning at mid-day meals, rape, police colluding with rapists, government doctors striking for the benefit of private nursing homes, oxygen shortage, corruption in construction, women seeking pension from uncaring babus, Muslims being told to go to Pakistan.

Vigilante in hoodie recreates these tragic scenarios before making the bad men dead.

But who is he? John 1, 2, 3...

Satyameva Jayate 2 toggles between being downright bigoted, dumb and quite chalu.

Overall the film’s IQ is very low and its bigotry is high-pitched and proud.

The film is so dumb, in fact, that though it wants to keep a secret — about who big baddie is — it keeps dropping obvious filmy hints while pretending that a big climactic reveal is coming.

But it’s also clever. Satyameva Jayate 2 says, “Bees saal mein kuch nahin badla sivaye note ke”, but frames its criticism in a sea of tirangas, Hindutva iconography and loud chatter about Ma and Bharat Ma.

SJ2’s politics is identical to that of khap panchayats where patriarchal men with a primitive worldview and savage instincts settle scores with dead bodies.

Misogyny and bigotry is a part of SJ2’s world. It’s not overt. It’s just there, in its DNA. Casual, persistent, forever.

John Abraham can convincingly pick up a bike with the biker on it and fling it. When his angry fist lands on a long, oblong wooden table, it splits into two. But he can’t act.

At best he can freeze one of these two expressions — happy or sad, but every time he has to show anything complicated or in-between, he looks with he urgently needs to do potty.

That’s why all of John Abraham’s characters prey on his real-life persona. Dole-shole and ribbed abs.

So he must take off his shirt at least once. There was a time when that was enough in a John Abraham movie. But now that he is 48 years old, his torso needs the assistance of a body double and CGI. No wonder his belly button, that we are made to stare at for a long time, holds a gloomy expression matching ours.