— By Rajyogi Brahmakumar Nikunj ji

Why Do People Hurt Each Other?

Nobody can hurt me without my permission said Mahatma Gandhi, however the truth is that most of us hurt each other in our relationships and we do it because we just want to do it. There is no larger reason for it, but its something that just happens. There may be numerous reasons for us to hurt people, however the most common of them is ‘unfulfilled expectations’ which we all experience in our various realtionships. Take for example, we just meet someone and have fallen in love with him/her. Now before there is any kind of exchange of feelings, we just start dreaming about things that are totally out of context. After a lot of pursuing, chasing and pushing, when we finally fail to get the desired reply from other end, we start feeling miserable and then start blaming the person by saying things like ‘you hurt me’ , ‘you broke my heart’ etc.. We should sit aside in a quiet corner and ask ourself whether our expectations right from the beginning were realistic? Were feelings of love mutual on both the sides? When it was time to understand what he/she is saying, we were building love castles in the air ,when it was time to give some space to opposite person, we were suffocating the person with our forced love & affection. Is this right kind of behaviour? Remember ! any kind of one sided relationships are extremely painful and maleficent coz it makes you feel like a spare part in someone else’s life as if you aren't as important to them as they are to you. Hence to prevent oneself from such pain and agony, it is best to have a clear communication with the person whom you have feelings for. So always express yourself because carrying the burden of unspoken words can take a toll on you. Its 100 times better to say what you genuinely feel rather then repeating I love you a 100 times. However it’s so unfortunate that most of us prefer to bleed from within and stick to our ‘no expressing’ stubbornness. A wise person would thus always think about these reasons when being hurt rather then wasting time on ‘Why me?’. So, just forget what hurt you but never forget what it taught you. Learn your lessons and move on.