Perfect is boring
The rise of ‘tradwives’ on social media, and why the Princess of Wales is their icon
an air of gravitas at others. The most interesting thing she has done since her wedding 13 years ago, is disappearing from public view after a surgery. In fact, when she appeared in a video to end weeks of speculation about her whereabouts and wellbeing (with the perfect amount of radiance for someone dealing with a health issue), it was the first time most people heard her speak. A tradwife, presumably, should be seen and not heard.
Blending into sameness For a moment, let’s keep aside what this says about the
◣ reversal of the strides that feminism has achieved, the long march for equality that took centuries. What I really don’t understand about women choosing this lifestyle is how boring this kind of perfection seems to be. Look at Middleton herself, so obsessive her need to project absolute flawlessness that she (or whoever is in charge of her X account; those conspiracy theories are best left for another column) came out and confessed to Photoshopping the image she’d posted for Mother’s Day.
What does she need, I wondered, for her smile to be brighter, her hair to be even more shiny, for her arms to be longer so that she can hold three growing children in her embrace? If all character is stripped, how will any image be indicative of anything? Can anyone remember any previous Mother’s Day photos that she’d posted? They all blend into the sameness of happy, sunny perfection. dummy’s 10 and ruffed a diamond with the king of spades. The five of spades went to dummy’s nine, drawing the last trump, and another diamond was ruffed with the queen of spades. This felled
Middleton, and her tradwife followers, don’t need to look far for lessons in authentic relevance. Her predecessor as the Princess of
Wales, Diana, was the master of being a relatable person behind a beautiful photo. Her look was effortless but the burden was visible, and it was in the times that she slipped that she endeared herself. There are countless photos and videos of her various imperfections, as a young mother snapping at her husband, as a new divorcee dishing the dirt on her marriage, as a person drowning in the demands of the world, desperate to find love. Here was a woman who looked impossibly, unattainably beautiful, who seemed to be living a life as full of confusions and ugliness as the rest of us.
Diana’s enduring legacy derives from the fact that she was a person, and not just an image. With Middleton, as we have now come to realise, it is nearly impossible to tell whether she is real or a creation of artificial intelligence. (The writer Hilary Mantel once famously wrote that Middleton looks like she was put together by a committee.)
And so it goes for the tradwives too. Beyond the aspiration and outrage of a social media post, these pie baking, frillwearing, flawlessly madeup women have very little to speak for themselves. They are all interchangeable and easily replaceable. There is, really, nothing more boring than this kind of perfection.
Veena Venugopal is the author of Independence Day: A People’s History. the ace from West.
South now led his two of spades to dummy’s four and discarded his low club on the established queen of diamonds. Nicely played!