Watchers of the Wall

IT’S A great, great wall. They are great, great warriors. Facing great, great monsters. With great, great principles. Then come two Westerners, a little greedy but very brave.

Well, you know how this will end, even if some of China’s best meet some of Hollywood’s biggest.

The film starts with the two, from somewhere in the undefined West who, after six months of travelling and losing 20 men, now find themselves in the last leg of their hunt for the “black powder” that turns “air into fire”. Presumably gunpowder, a Chinese invention.

The two, William (Damon) and Pero (Pascal), confront some hill tribes and an unfathomable monster before being captured by ‘The Nameless Order’, which defends China’s Great Wall and its secrets. The brave commander of the Order’s troops is the beautiful Lin (Tian).

The film is an excuse to showcase the expertise of ancient China when it comes to warfare, to the “barbarian” West. The Order fights with gunpowder, cannon balls, arrows that target sound and, beautifully, a bungyjumping Crane Corps that includes Lin. The corps jumps off the Great Wall holding spears to slay enemies. The term enemies is used loosely here as apparently their only adversaries are monsters called Tao Tei, who invade every 60 years and eat everything dead or alive.

The Tao Teis are well conceived, especially their method of communication through vibrations, which their Queen sets forth. However, they are monsters after all, and it’s difficult to care for a battle with so little invested in it.

Pascal, of The Game of Thrones, tries to inject some levity, even if he continuously addresses everyone as “Amigo”, while Dafoe introduces an element of malice into this otherwise virtuous world.

However, every time the film threatens to veer towards emotion, including between William and Lin, Yimou turns it back to yet another attack from the Tao Teis. And yet another detailed, loving look at how the Chinese fought back enemies dressed in elaborate gear, with advanced mechanics, and using clockwork precision.

There are many theories as to why the Great Wall was built, the film says at the beginning. That it was built to keep out something like the Tao Teis is fictional, it clarifies. That the film considers the Wall a thing of beauty and mystery is clear. But that the Wall is breachable is evident. AROUND 4,000 people is all that remains of the non-infected world when Alice takes off this time to save it in Resident Evil. Well, you can’t accuse the filmmakers of not being ambitious enough. It’s taken them six films born of a video game, 14-plus years, and $1 billion in profits to bring the world to this. With many, many zombies still to be killed.

Jovovich’s Alice surfaces this time in a ruined Washington DC, with White House, Pentagon and the Washington Monument all testaments to what happens when a man’s belief in perpetuating one superior race and his powers and money combine. Chuckle.

However, Alice is not one to spare a knowing smile or some extraneous tears, and is soon in her stride sweeping aside deadly zombies again. Yes, the same old ones infected, bitten and left to roam the earth by the evil Umbrella Corporation led by the Jack Nicholson-lookalike Dr Isaacs (Glen).

It’s Dr Isaacs, who sports a cross and hangs many around him, who talks about how, when the T-virus has run its course, the survivors would comprise a righteous and pure race. No, that makes no sense, but clearly Dr Isaacs thinks little of it too and drops all talk of this “orchestrated apocalypse” later.

Then the Red Queen appears and tells Alice to head to The Hive in Raccoon City,

There is little in The Final Chapter in terms of characters barring Alice, there is little in terms of novelty particularly in the zombies, there is little in terms of a story as Alice battles Umbrella one zombie at a time

where the zombie business began, and release an anti-virus which can end the world’s misery.

Alice plus the newly helpful Red Queen plus the underground Hive plus Raccoon, plus people who appear, disappear and reappear, in this case from death itself? For writer-director Anderson, clearly this is Wonderland.

However, it’s doubtful how many of the film series’ persistent fans will continue to believe that. There is little in The Final Chapter in terms of characters barring Alice, there is little in terms of novelty particularly in the zombies, there is little in terms of a story as Alice battles Umbrella one zombie at a time, there is little in terms of ideas as old sequences are resurrected, and there is little in terms of a conversation when not more than two sentences are strung other.

Jovovich remains fighting fit though (including hanging from vehicles, heights, and upside down) and as she drives off into the sunset saying “my work is not done”, it’s obvious none of the above matters. The Final Chapter, you bet, is far from the last one. Just an alternative fact. SL