The Indian man and his obsession with impotency
Why does the idea of impotence scare Indian men so much? When Salman Khurshid called Modi impotent, the BJP and their poster boy were so insulted that the party went guns-blazing-into-war mode.
Arnab had more than a few near-asphyxiating moments. Barkha gleefully called her faithful few (we all know who you are) back into her drawing room, NDTV’s studio, and everyone chomped on this new bit of drama thrown up by our comedy show-worthy politicos. But why did his words insult everyone so much? People didn’t seem as insulted by the charge that Modi had been helpless in the face of his rioting citizens, but more about the physiological state of his erection. Like Khurshid said, “he wasn’t his doctor”, so he had no business commenting on his physical state of affairs, just his political ones.
Even Rahul Baba had to be handed an apology to memorise and read out to the press — one that called Khurshid’s words regrettable and shameful, while other wrung their hands over how the External Affairs Minister had to be sent back to finishing school and learn some manners. Really though, is that the worst thing a politician has said in this country? By that commendably high standard, we should be sending most of them right back into their mother’s wombs so that they learn everything about the world all over again.
Coming back to the word, why does impotence cause such fear in Indian men? Because under all the brouhaha, some people got that Khurshid was simply using the word as a synonym for powerless, or to call out the Chief Minster’s inaction in the face of the murderous riots and mobs of 2002. Why is everyone so hyper? Modi has been accused of that and much worse, repeatedly. His track record isn’t exactly a picture of virtue. But somehow the accusation of impotence stung so much more than that of mass- murderer, genocide facilitator, fundamentalist. Someone, please tell me — aren’t these much higher up in the insult ladder?
Impotence and sexual dysfunction in men is deeply connected to the ego, more so in Indian men, because they haven’t fully embraced the more public solutions of Viagra and artificial insemination. That is other than when Vicky Donor was playing on their TVs.
The idea that a man cannot fulfil his god given prophecy is so debilitating that it can bring their world to an end. Relationships become nasty and hurtful, they retreat into shells, lose interest at work, become anxious, fearful, depressed, and most essentially blame and criticism to the women for her perceived shortcomings. The idea of manliness is so tightly wound into the strength of a man’s jizz, that an attack on a man’s virulence is an attack on their self. It affects their chance of a lineage and, more specifically in some more regressive men, a male lineage.
Virulence in men is almost as precious as a woman’s virginity.
From the sterile Dr William Masters who put his wife through multiple rounds of fertility tests and artificial insemination, who was racked by immense guilt over being infertile, to the girl who works in my house, whose husband is threatening to leave her because she can’t have children, and the onus falls only on her to take test after test, never on him.
What’s wrong with having lazy sperm? Nothing. Firstly there is no shame. It’s not a curse. Men, no one is judging you. And if they do (remember what they told you in high school) , they are probably not worth it.
Secondly, there are solutions. And none of those involve beating your wife up over it. As much as women are meant to be the pagan of fertility, what with our baby-making wombs and all that, we don’t hold all the cards. So take responsibility when you need to. Go get those tests, buy that pill, and embrace reality. And best, not worst case scenario, adopt! Give a child a home. But let’s start with taking away all this shame and castigation from the word “impotent”.
Impotence and sexual dysfunction in men is deeply connected to the ego, more so in Indian men, because they haven’t fully embraced the more public solutions of Viagra and artificial insemination. That is other than when Vicky Donor was playing on their TVs.
Isha Singh Sawhney can be reached at paperonperfect@gmail.com