Successful franchise doesn’t make up for awful gameplay

DEVELOPER: Teyon PUBLISHER: Reef Entertainment PLATFORM: PC, Xbox 360, PS3 GENRE: Stealth, Action-adventure PRICE: $29 This may well be the biggest month of 2014 for game releases. After a dry spell that lasted over three months, March brings with big titles like Dark Souls 2, Thief, Castlevania and Titanfall.

In the first batch of these big releases we have the officially licensed Rambo: The Video Game. Licensed games have generally been garbage, barring a handful like the Batman: Arkham series. Publishers are all about cashing in on a franchise for its brand value, while clearly overlooking the quality of the product in the hope that the brand in itself will make the product sell.

Sadly, Rambo: The Video Game suffers from this very thing. The game is supposed to cover all the events from the first three Rambo films: First Blood, First Blood Part II and Rambo III. So lazy were the developers, however, that they didn’t even bother to add new voiceovers; they’ve all been lifted directly from the movies. So during a cut scene, the terrible quality of the decade-old film dialogues becomes evident.

That is secondary still. What matters is the gameplay, which again, is absolutely rubbish. It’s essentially a bloody QTE (quick time event) fest. The game calls itself “stealth” but there is no stealth gameplay whatsoever – you can’t move Rambo, not even during gunfights. All you can do is shoot. The game will instruct you: “Press X to move here”, and that’s about all the control you ever have as far as Rambo’s movement goes. Melee fights are massive QTE fests too, and they don’t even have any visual appeal.

In fact, the visuals in general look largely unfinished, which is surprising considering that the game was originally supposed to launch in 2013, but suffered a massive delay, which clearly had nothing to do with getting the finished product right. What’s worse is that the developers don’t seem to be aware of how badly made this game is, which means it’s stripped even of its last chance at redemption— the “so bad it’s good” value that we sometimes allow things like this.

Rambo: The Video Game is straight up awful. It’s unentertaining and unplayable for most of its duration. The senseless violence and murder is an absolute waste of time, for any demograph or age-group you consider. The game demands a full price and offers only four-five hours of scripted, ruthless gunfight fighting and cheap animation. Now all I’m worried about is how to get those five precious hours back.