Cheat meat

Thanks to ‘guilt-free’ ghosht even veg­gie peo­ple are be­com­ing non-veg­gies

The Times of India (New Delhi edition) - - An Ecstasy Of Ideas - Jug Su­raiya

Un­der a large sign say­ing AN­I­MAL FARM, a goat and a chicken are dis­cussing their fu­ture, which doesn’t seem too bright.

Chicken: There’s good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?

Goat: Let’s hear the good news.

Chicken: OK, the good news is that hu­mans are de­vel­op­ing lab­o­ra­tory-made meat – which can be called cheat meat, or guilt-free meat, which in taste and tex­ture is ex­actly like the real thing – which means that we won’t have to be killed for hu­mans to eat.

Goat: Wow! That is good news. I’ve never been able to fig­ure why hu­mans have to go around killing us for food. I mean we, you and I, don’t go around killing hu­mans so we can eat, do we? Any­way, if thanks to guilt-free cheat meat hu­mans stop killing us they can get on with their main pre­oc­cu­pa­tion, which seems to be killing each other, in wars, and ri­ots, and ter­ror­ist at­tacks. So what’s the bad news?

Chicken: The bad news is that be­cause of guilt-free cheat meat a lot of veg­gie hu­mans could well be­come non-veg­gies with­out feel­ing bad about our be­ing killed.

Goat: I don’t get it. Why is it bad news if veg­gie hu­mans be­come non-veg­gies and start eat­ing guilt-free cheat meat?

Chicken: Fig­ure it out. Look at what has hap­pened to our fel­low in­mates in An­i­mal Farm, the poor cows. Ever since these gau rak­shaks stopped hu­mans from eat­ing them or turn­ing them into leather, once a cow stops giv­ing milk it’s hu­man own­ers leave it to live on a diet of plas­tic bags or starve to death.

Goat: Uh, oh. I think I can see where this is go­ing, and it isn’t any­place good. Chicken: It isn’t. If hu­mans don’t need to eat us be­cause they can eat cheat meat in­stead, they’ll have no fur­ther use for us and leave us to our fate, which in my case means I won’t even get the chick­en­feed which is all I get to eat right now. And the ghas-phoosyou’re­given to eat might be­come more phoos than ghas. Goat: So whether or not we meat our end, we’ll meet our end any­way….

jug.su­[email protected]­group.com blogs.time­sofindia.in­di­a­times.com/jug­gle­bandhi

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