Itʼs tricky?

Woman's Era - - Contents - Me­hak Garg

What does sex mean?” a ques­tion every par­ent dreads be­ing asked. There comes a time in all par­ents’ lives when they are di­rectly asked about sex and re­pro­duc­tion by their chil­dren. Tack­ling ques­tions about sex in the right man­ner is nec­es­sary. How you do it, of course, de­pends on your child and you as every child is dif­fer­ent and re­acts dif­fer­ently.

But, here are some tips re­gard­ing what to do when you are bom­barded with th­ese ques­tions:

Stay calm: We know one might feel sur­prised, flus­tered or em­bar­rassed when faced with a ques­tion about sex. In­stead, try tak­ing a deep breath, and an­swer­ing the ques­tion with­out show­ing any em­bar­rass­ment.

Don’t dodge: In all prob­a­bil­ity, your child will ask th­ese ques­tions again or, worse, can go to oth­ers with such queries, which will just be cat­a­strophic. There­fore, be ready to an­swer the ques­tions.

Be hon­est: If you’re un­com­fort­able talk­ing with your child about some­thing, tell them that. Chil­dren don’t ex­pect you to be per­fect or to have all the an­swers. How­ever, when you an­swer their ques­tions hon­estly and re­spect­fully, you’re bet­ter able to have an open con­ver­sa­tion.

Be fac­tual: Be as fac­tual as you can, ac­cord­ing to the age of your child. Just be sim­ple, lu­cid and gen­tle. Don't scold your child if he or she is ready with a few more ques­tions on the sub­ject. Don't talk or ex­plain more than what is nec­es­sary.

Go ca­sual: You don't need to make a big deal out of the sit­u­a­tion with a very se­ri­ous talk. In­stead, ease in the top­ics when teach­ing your child about the hu­man body. Speak with­out awk­ward­ness or hes­i­ta­tion, so that your child doesn’t feel em­bar­rassed.

Read to­gether: You can read a book along with your child that deals with the sci­ence of it all. The idea is to learn about sex in a sci­en­tific and fac­tual man­ner. It should be a mat­ter-of-fact en­gage­ment.

Don’t be harsh: Don’t be harsh or judg­men­tal about cer­tain things, like mas­tur­ba­tion, as your child lis­tens to it all and may feel badly about it. Chances are, by the time they asked you about it, they have al­ready tried it (like, mas­tur­bated) and may feel dirty or judged. This might re­sult in them be­ing eva­sive and not as forth­com­ing with you in fu­ture.

In­stead, speak to your child about the oc­ca­sional need for pri­vate time to ex­plore his body, be­hind closed doors. Ex­plain that both par­ents and chil­dren need to re­spect each other's pri­vacy and space. Knock­ing be­fore en­ter­ing a closed room al­ways helps. Also, make sure you as­sert that ir­re­spec­tive of your child’s sex­u­al­ity, you will al­ways love them.

Ask teach­ers: If you are un­com­fort­able or be­wil­dered with your child’s ques­tions, talk to his or her teach­ers, take their help. Ask them how to han­dle such ques­tions.

Keep bound­aries: Know where to draw the line when you are talk­ing about sex with your child. Do not ever cite your own per­sonal ex­pe­ri­ences. Keep your an­swers sim­ple, and to the point. Over­load of de­tailed ex­pla­na­tions can be over­whelm­ing as well as fright­en­ing for your child.

En­cour­age them: En­cour­age ask­ing ques­tions and re­mind your child that he or she is free to speak to you about any­thing.

Talk­ing about sex is dif­fi­cult but do­ing so can help chil­dren know about sex, preg­nancy, con­tra­cep­tion and safer sex be­fore they start any sex­ual ac­tiv­ity. This is so they will know what to think about and can make de­ci­sions that are right for them when the time comes.

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