TEENACHE MY FAMILY, MY FRIENDS AND ME... CHILD CHALLENGES
IAM A 15- YEAR-OLD GIRL WITH A HANDSOME BOYFRIEND WHO IS two years senior to me in school. I like him a lot as he is a nice guy, but what bugs me is his very jealous nature. He just cannot stand it if any another boy talks to me. He gets furious even if a boy even smiles at me!
When I reprove him for his behavior, he claims his jealousy only shows how much he loves me! And that he wants me to belong only to him…
Should I tolerate his attitude or split with him? He is really very controlling.
Love has no place for jealousy, because all one wants is the happiness of the other person. But we are all human and it is easy to fall prey to jealousy and resentment when we see our partners with other admirers. Jealousy stems from insecure feelings.
If your boyfriend was self confident and was confident of your love for him, he will not feel threatened when you talk to other boys.
If you care for him and do not want to give him up, try to bolster his self worth and image so that he stops feeling inferior, and perhaps afraid that you will leave him. There is no guarantee that he will change, though! If his behavior irks you too much, it is better you leave him amicably. After all, a toxic relationship brings nothing but distress to both partners. The choice is yours, entirely.
IBELONG TO A TRADITIONAL JAIN HOUSEHOLD. OUR KITCHEN DOES not even have onions or garlic in food preparations. Some time back, I ate some mutton biryani which my friend had brought for lunch, and I liked it a lot! After that, every time she brings this, she invites me to share it with her. And I accept it.
I am plagued by guilt and self hatred for deceiving my family. Please advise. Should I confess, or stop or do it secretly?
How old are you? If you are above 18 years of age, you may be able to choose your actions without elders’ or guardians’ consent and approval. But this goes beyond this: you are betraying your loved ones, in a way, pretending to be someone you are not. This naturally is giving you the guilt feeling.
Why don’t you tell your mother about it in confidence? She will be shocked and angry, surely, but she will be compassionate too, and advise you to stop it.it will at least, lift a load off your mind. Even if you are not willing to listen to your mother, at least you will feel rebellious but not guilt ridden.
It is such a small issue. Why don’t you control your taste buds and turn down your friend’s offer? It will make you feel in control of yourself and sense organs!
IAM IN A TERRIBLE DILEMMA. I CANNOT DECIDE whether to stand by my promise to my best
friend or break my word, in her own interests, according to my opinion. She has a boyfriend and she often goes out with him at night, but she uses me as an alibi to her parents, saying she is with me!
Now, I realise this boyfriend is an unscrupulous and untrustworthy fellow, but she refuses to give him up. Can I tell her parents or am I bound my promise to keep her secret? We are 16-year-old girls. You should definitely do what is good for your immature friend who seems to be too infatuated by this boy to think clearly. If she gets into trouble in this clandestine affair it will spoil her reputation and life itself. Threaten her that you will break your promise if she refuses to give up this boy and tell her parents the truth. This could scare her into listening to you. If she refuses or pretends to break the relationship but does not in reality, go ahead and inform her parents. You can feel guiltless because you have warned her anyway. But be prepared to receive a strong reprimand from her parents though for letting their daughter get into this mess. She would not have been able to do all this,without your support, isn’t it? You can tell them though that you had not recognised the boy’s faults earlier. This should also be a warning for you. Do not commit yourself in such dubious situations in the future.
IAM A 17- YEAR-OLD GIRL IN CLASS ELEVEN OF A GOOD SCHOOL IN Delhi. All my class mates are preparing for the crucial 12th class Board exams by getting many tuitions . As I belong to a middle class family, my parents cannot afford to engage tutors for me. I am the eldest of three siblings and their needs have also to be met by my parents. I understand their limitations but feel very deprived, as the others are doing much better than me in class. I feel depressed. What can I do?
You should know that there are several students in the same boat. Is there no friend or relative who can help you with your studies gratis? Or at a smaller fee?
You could ask a considerate friend to show you what her tutors are teaching her, for some tips and notes, etc.
Even your class teachers could be helpful in clearing your doubts if they know you are unable to get extra coaching.
There are tutors who specially cater to students who belong to less affluent families, and you could find out about these too.
If it is possible for your parents to avail of a education loan provided by the government for the underprivileged, it could help.
In the meanwhile, stop wasting your time in self pity and whining. Gird up your loins and hit your books. Many achievers in exams have often confessed that they studied on their own, without tutors. You can join their ranks too.