BE­ING HAPPY

Make hap­pi­ness your way of life.

Woman's Era - - Contents - Les­ley D. Biswas

If you re­ally want to be happy, no­body and noth­ing can stop you from be­ing happy. It’s that sim­ple! The truth about hap­pi­ness is that it’s un­der your con­trol. The Dalai Lama and Des­mond Tutu in the book ti­tled The Book of Joy which they co-au­thored, write that joy de­pends on our at­ti­tudes, how we per­ceive sit­u­a­tions and our re­ac­tions that fol­low. Also to an ex­tent the re­la­tion­ship we share with oth­ers.

This is some­thing Rick Fos­ter and Greg Hicks, au­thors of How We Choose to be Happy: The 9 Choices of Ex­tremely Happy Peo­ple - Their Se­crets, Their Sto­ries, reit­er­ate when they say in­ten­tion is the driv­ing force be­hind be­ing happy. Since in­ten­tion is un­der an in­di­vid­ual’s con­trol, all one must do is make a con­scious de­ci­sion that re­sults in hap­pi­ness over un­hap­pi­ness. Here are some sim­ple ways to choose hap­pi­ness.

Value hap­pi­ness: In his book ti­tled, You Can Choose To Be Happy, “Rise Above” Anx­i­ety, Anger, and

De­pres­sion, au­thor Tom G. Stevens, PHD, stresses on the im­por­tance to make hap­pi­ness your num­ber-one goal in life. In or­der to do that, Stevens sug­gests that one must be com­mit­ted to this goal by tak­ing pri­mary re­spon­si­bil­i­ties for their own hap­pi­ness and not wait for oth­ers, fate, money or a spouse to make their life happy.

Hap­pi­ness first: We all ex­pect suc­cess to re­sult in hap­pi­ness. And for a mo­ment it surely does. But ac­cord­ing to au­thor Shawn Achor, of the book ti­tled, The Hap­pi­ness Ad­van­tage: The Seven Prin­ci­ples of Pos­i­tive Psy­chol­ogy That Fuel Suc­cess and Per­for­mance at Work, it’s the other way around.

He gives in­stances where peo­ple pin their hap­pi­ness on the next pro­mo­tion, bet­ter marks or ful­fill­ing a tar­get. Herein lies the dan­ger and the wait which some­times can be end­less.

In­stead, find hap­pi­ness in the process and when you achieve your pro­mo­tion or tar­get, cel­e­brate.

Feel­ing of well-be­ing: To feel happy you just have to make those happy mo­ments, even if they are small and fleet­ing, linger longer. Some­times it’s just about re­liv­ing those past happy mem­o­ries or cre­at­ing new ones.

I have a small cor­ner near my work ta­ble, I choose to call my ‘hap­pi­ness cen­ter’. Here I keep things that have made me happy in the past. Sam­ples of my achieve­ments, pos­i­tive and mo­ti­vat­ing quotes, pho­to­graphs that make me smile, and my cam­era which re­minds me of my new and ful­fill­ing hobby, pho­tog­ra­phy. Just look­ing at these ob­jects makes me re­alise that even if ev­ery mo­ment of my life isn’t pul­sat­ing with joy, there have been past events that have been amaz­ing and there will also be fu­ture events that will be plea­sur­able.

BAR­ING YOUR HEART MIGHT SEEM A GOOD WAY TO RE­LIEV­ING YOUR PAIN, BUT WHEN YOU SHARE YOUR TROU­BLES WITH PEO­PLE WHO CAN­NOT OF­FER A SO­LU­TION, IT DOES NO POS­I­TIVE GOOD FOR EI­THER.

Take credit: Tak­ing credit for your own achieve­ment is also as im­por­tant as count­ing your bless­ings. We are all quick to credit oth­ers for their sup­port and un­wa­ver­ing be­lief in us, but how many of us pat our own backs for the hard work we put in and our de­ter­mi­na­tion to push on in ad­ver­sity that re­sult in our ul­ti­mate achieve­ments. By cred­it­ing your­self doesn’t nec­es­sar­ily make you self­cen­tered. It’s a way to value your­self.

Kick stress­ful habits: Some habits re­sult in stress which ul­ti­mately ends in un­hap­pi­ness. In an ar­ti­cle pub­lished on the www.time.com web­site, the re­la­tion­ship be­tween so­cial net­work­ing more than two hours in a day and young peo­ple feel­ing psy­cho­log­i­cal dis­tress is ev­i­dent. In­sta­gram users feel con­stantly un­der so­cial scru­tiny and

Spread hap­pi­ness: We all have prob­lems that tend to wear our heart down. But when you meet peo­ple, try not to bur­den them with your trou­bles. Bar­ing your heart might seem a good way to re­liev­ing your pain, but when you share your trou­bles with peo­ple who can­not of­fer a so­lu­tion, it does no pos­i­tive good for ei­ther. So when some­one asks you how are you, make it a point to speak about the pos­i­tives that are hap­pen­ing in your life. It helps to dwell on the good times, even if they are few and far apart. This makes you feel happy since talk­ing about the pos­i­tive mo­ments in your life it­self makes it a happy in­ter­ac­tion that adds to your hap­pi­ness trove. this leads to men­tal health is­sues, anx­i­ety and de­pres­sion. Pro­cras­ti­nat­ing can make you feel guilty. Be­ing un­or­gan­ised can sap your en­ergy with­out a pos­i­tive out­come. Over-sched­ul­ing can lead to you feel­ing in­ad­e­quate when you fail to ac­com­plish what’s on your list.

Com­plain­ing is an­other bad habit that only re­minds you of the bad things go­ing on in your life. Per­fec­tion­ism is also a bane. Peo­ple who seek per­fec­tion, ob­sess about de­tails and want ev­ery­thing to be per­fect are sel­dom sat­is­fied with their own achieve­ments and for them suc­cess rarely trans­lates into hap­pi­ness. Set your­self free from these un­happy habits.

Health is hap­pi­ness: Re­search has proved that walk­ing, ex­er­cis­ing and me­di­a­tion pro­motes good health which in turn re­sults in hap­pi­ness. On the con­trary, it’s also a proven fact that anx­i­ety, de­pres­sion and stress lead to men­tal fa­tigue which de­pletes your health and chron­i­cally cor­rode your hap­pi­ness. In or­der to be happy, fol­low a healthy regime cou­pled with ex­er­cise and seek med­i­cal help when nec­es­sary to over­come your men­tal block­age.

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