‘The main difference this time round is we were good friends before hand’
Lynda Kher (58) is a pastry chef and lives in Lisburn with her husband Steven. She has one daughter, Charly (29), from her first marriage and Steven has a son, Gaurav (32), from his first marriage. Lynda says:
I married for the first time when I was 26. Looking back I think we were just young and naive. We worked together and worked long hours, and, in the end, it took its toll on the marriage and things just didn’t work out.
When I married the first time around I thought it was for life, but it wasn’t meant to be. We lasted 13 years before separating and later divorcing.
I wasn’t one of these people that said ‘I’ll never marry again’ or ‘once bitten, twice shy’. I always thought if I was lucky enough to find the right one I would marry again.
But never in a million years did I think I’d marry Steven. After all, we’d known each other as friends for years and our families knew each other.
We were used to hanging out as pals and enjoying each other’s company ... and then he asked me out.
My initial response was to laugh as we had been friends for so long. I even asked him if this was really a date. Yet all my friends told me that I was stupid and asked me whether I really hadn’t noticed the chemistry that had been between the two of us for a long time. We even got a round of applause when we turned up together on a night out. Everyone wondered what took us so long.
So, we started going on dates — and it just worked. I think the fact that we were such good friends beforehand stood us in good stead.
In 2012, Steven surprised the life out of me by proposing at Castle Leslie. I was in complete shock, but I didn’t hesitate as I knew it was what I wanted.
The one thing I didn’t want, though, was a big wedding. I had done all the traditional trimmings the first time round.
So, we agreed to get married at City Hall in Belfast with just the two of us and two good friends and then have a party afterwards.
I didn’t want all the fuss and hassle of a big wedding the second time round, nor did I see the point. I just wanted it to be an intimate occasion and all about Steven and me.
Since we got married, we really haven’t looked back. We are very happy together. I think the main difference this time round is that we were such good friends beforehand and we knew everything about each other.
We are true companions and enjoy spending time together and that really should be what a marriage is all about — friendship and love.
We have a lot of fun together and enjoy doing the same things. We want to just enjoy each other’s company and to grow old together.
I think it also works well as we are more mature and know what we want from a relationship. Steven was also married before and I think we both learnt from our mistakes the first time. We are careful to make sure that we love and support each other.
Indeed, I think that will be the key to a successful marriage for Meghan and Harry — they need to have the firm foundations of a strong friendship and be there to help and support each other through both the good and bad times.
Meghan seems mature and ready for the role and as long as he is by her side, loving her and supporting her, then I’m sure she