Angels adventure has lost the plot
Charlie’s Angels
(12A, 118 mins) HHHHH
Elizabeth Banks is a safe pair of hands for this outlandish globe-trotting escapade based on the 1970s TV series, which promoted a brand of girl power distinguished by fabulously coiffed hair and fetishistic figure-hugging couture.
Banks’s script gleefully punishes male characters who underestimate the heroines and expects her high-kicking Angels to weather as many blows to the face as the hulking henchmen they disable to save the world.
It’s equal opportunities bruising with a theatrical flourish, garnished with male eye candy — a handsome scientist (Noah Centineo), a spiritual and physical well-being guru (Luis Gerardo Mendez) — whose lingering presence barely troubles the gossamer-thin plot.
Set pieces frequently nod to chauvinistic dinosaur James Bond (a close encounter with a rock crusher echoes Licence To Kill) including an intentionally clumsy pun from Thunderball.
After 40 years, John Bosley (Sir Patrick Stewart) retires as controller of the LA-based Townsend Agency, run under the aegis of the enigmatic Charlie (voiced by Robert Clotworthy).
John leaves the agency in rude health with elite female operatives, known as Angels, stationed around the globe, fulfilling the orders of lieutenants all codenamed Bosley.
In John’s absence, another Bosley (Djimon Hounsou) assumes control of a Hamburg rendezvous with whistleblower Elena Houghlin (Naomi Scott), who has evidence that the Calisto energy conservation project pioneered by philanthropist Alexander Brok (Sam Claflin) can be hacked for nefarious means.
The meeting descends into bullet-riddled chaos and two plucky Angels — ex-MI6 agent Jane Kano (Ella Balinska) and heiress Sabina Wilson (Kristen Stewart) — intervene to save Elena from tattooed assassin Hodak (Jonathan Tucker).
The ladies regroup with a third Bosley (Banks), who tasks the trio with infiltrating Brok’s offices to steal the remaining Calisto devices before they can be weaponised.
Cue various costume changes, hand-to-hand combat and a sequin-studded dance routine to a groovy remix of Donna Summer’s disco anthem Bad Girls.
Charlie’s Angels blends a familiar cocktail of explosive stunts and wry humour with minimum characterisation and narrative outlay.
Stewart, Balinska and Scott are appealingly feisty and imprint distinct personalities onto their ethnically diverse saviours, but their on-screen camaraderie is disappointingly undernourished.
Banks shamelessly panders to nostalgia with throwaway cameos by former Angels over the end credits.
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