How to overcome embarrassment at a GP appointment
Dr Martin Stagg advises how best to avoid feeling flustered when speaking to a medical professional
THE most important thing to state first is that your doctor is not likely to be shocked or surprised by any of the symptoms or problems that you are worrying about. Their shockability will have been eroded during their university training and then their junior-doctor hospital training posts; long before seeing you.
Remember that their everyday job is largely spent dealing with bodily functions, often at a pretty graphic level. Even as a medical student I had been involved in assessing and treating patients who attended the A&E because of unusual objects stuck in unexpected bodily areas.
Why does your problem feel embarrassing to you anyway? People do not only feel embarrassed about problems in their genital or bottom areas. People can feel uncomfortable discussing other personal matters that you might think are relatively straightforward, such as hair loss, bad breath and rashes anywhere on the body. These things can feel very personal and private.
Even more common is to feel embarrassed about mental health problems, which can still be felt, by some people, as a sign of some weakness or shame.
All doctors and most patients nowadays realise that this type of attitude is completely wrong and harmful, and that sufferers are no more responsible for their mental health problems than they are about their physical conditions.
Shame can be a very powerful and disturbing emotion and can be triggered as equally by physical as well as by emotional health problems. I spent a short time as a student working in Africa in the 1980s and was shocked to see several epileptic patients whose first hospital attendance came after they had accidentally burnt themselves, during a fit, after falling onto open fires in their homes.
They and their families had kept their blackouts secret until such a serious event, as they felt shame at this condition which they did not properly understand, but worried that some kind of curse may have been placed on them.
If you still feel awkward about talking to your doctor, you can help break the ice by admitting this out loud in the consultation.
For example: “I feel a bit embarrassed about telling you this, but I think I need to, as it might be important.” Most GPS or other doctors should take this obvious opportunity to reassure and encourage you.
You may be worried that your symptoms are a sign of a particular condition or disease, but may feel embarrassed to ask. You need to tell the GP what you are really worried about as the GP may not be able to work this out unless you are direct about it. Your appointment may be wasted if you cannot make this breakthrough, as the doctor may spend time trying to reassure you about something that you are not even concerned about. It is best to be direct and to say something like: “I know it might sound a bit silly, but what I am really actually worried about is...”
Misunderstandings can waste time or even be dangerous in GP practice. I once prescribed an inhaler for an elderly lady who had asthma and had also developed an allergy to cat fur.
She had several cats at home and had no intention of changing that set-up. A week later she felt much worse and requested a home visit. When I arrived she was sitting in her living room, surrounded by her beloved cats.
Despite their presence, I was still surprised that her inhaler had not helped to ease her symptoms a little. I asked her to show me how she was using the inhaler, thinking that she may not be co-ordinating it properly with her breathing. She picked up the inhaler and squirted it into the face of one of her poor cats, which hissed and jumped off the sofa. I stopped her as she was trying to squirt it at another cat, before it too fled. This was all my fault really, as I had not properly demonstrated to her how she should use the inhaler.
Fortunately, this lady suffered no permanent harm and actually improved quite a lot after I had shown her how to use the inhaler properly. Her cats were able to relax a bit more too, although it would still have been better for them to be put in another room.
Returning to managing your consultation. Don’t be afraid to ask questions, especially if the doctor starts using some medical jargon that you don’t understand. An example of how you can confront this is to say: “I’m not following you. Please can you explain it to me in another way?”
In summary, it really is all about communication. The more that you can break things down, by being as open and honest as possible, the better the doctor will be able to help you.
Good luck.