‘We can really shape our children, set them up for a positive future’

Fitness coach Joe Wicks on the hardest part of being a parent, his own dysfunctional upbringing, and the inspiration behind his new book and its ‘circle of happiness’ message. By Catriona Doherty

FITNESS coach, presenter and author Joe Wicks has just released his 15th book, Fitter, Healthier, Happier. On a mission to encourage people to move more, Joe (38) hopes the title will inspire young readers to be more active and improve their physical and mental health.

“I’m obviously very passionate about getting young people moving,” he says.

“I really want to inspire young people to actually understand what’s going on in their bodies, how exercise can help them change their mood, improve their mental health.

“So it’s a combination of sleep, food, movement. And the book is aimed at children between six and 12 years old.

“It’s a non-fiction children’s book that’s broken down into sections. We learn about the human body, the systems of the lungs, the heart, the muscles and things.

“And then we talk about nutrition and how that affects our mood and our diet and stuff.

“And then we talk about mental health and how to do things for yourself to feel a bit calmer and get rid of any anxiety or stress that you’re feeling.”

The book’s description states: “A healthy body and a healthy mind go hand in hand.”

Joe comments: “In the book, I call it the ‘circle of happiness’, which is sleep, movement, nutrition and mindfulness. It’s hard to get it all right every day, but I think when we’re physically strong, when we take care of our bodies, it really affects our mental health, really boosts our mood. It helps us with stress, to deal with fear and anxiety — all these things that young people experience.

“So, it’s really a great coping mechanism and a tool that you can use to fundamentally change the way you feel. And I think nothing has more power than physical exercise in doing that.”

Having have first-hand experience of the transformative power of movement, Joe is confident the skills he is teaching will be of benefit.

“I was a child that grew up in quite a dysfunctional home, you know. My parents had mental health issues,” he explains.

“So, for me, exercise and PE and sport was a big moment. It was a big pivotal thing which allowed me to navigate through the stress and anxiety I was experiencing.

“So, yeah, it changed my life, and I think it’s something that if you can get young people thinking about it early on — six-, sevenor eight-year-old children — then you can set them up hopefully for a more positive future.”

Joe, who is dad to Indie (5), Marley (4) and Leni (1), obviously encourages his children to exercise, and he’s also teaching them how to cook from an early age.

Parents have a massive impact on their children’s lives, he says: “We can really shape our children. And I’ve been talking about this recently: with children, you get out what you put in.

“If you’re willing to sit and read books with them, you’re going to get a child who really loves reading and has really got a great vocabulary.

“And if you have a child and you give them an ipad or a PlayStation, they’re going to get really good on the ipad and Playstation.

“So it depends on what you want to see your kids achieve and what you want them to be able to be good at.

“And so, for me, I put a lot of emphasis on cooking. Getting my kids in the kitchen — although they make a right mess and they’re annoying — I also think is fun, and I teach them to cook. If I don’t teach them, who will?

“It’s about prioritising things that are really important life skills. And I think movement and exercise is really important, and cooking and learning to eat nutritious food, but they will not do it on their own. They won’t — they can’t — cook on their own. They can’t go out and exercise on their own. You’ve got to be the one who gets them doing it.”

The most enjoyable aspect about being a father is teaching his kids, Joe says. From teaching them how to read or play a musical instrument to improving their football skills, the proud dad absolutely loves to see them grasp new things.

“My least favourite thing is probably the arguing, the constant conflict between the two toddlers who fight and scream, and it’s very irrational,” he admits.

“It’s hard to be patient, to try and understand what’s going on with them. So that’s my biggest kind of mental battle. It’s when I’m trying to stay patient and calm when they’re really pushing me.”

As for the most surprising element of becoming a dad, Joe says: “I think that thing of being patient. Basically trying to stay patient and calm in stressful situations and really having to practise that. You know, it’s almost like [building up] a muscle — you’ve got to just get stronger at it, because it’s really difficult.

“I feel like they bring out the best in me. But they also bring out that impatient, snappy, shouty parent that my mum and dad were.

“I think it’s taught me how to be patient. But it’s also taught me that you’re not always going to be perfect, and sometimes you shout and you scream and you feel terrible, but you can work through it and you can also communicate with them.

“I think you’re just evolving. As [your children] grow, you grow. As they go through the stages of life, you’re also learning as a parent and evolving.

“But, yeah, they’re challenging, they’re very annoying, but also I love them and want to be with them all the time.”

It’s so important for parents to model good emotional regulation skills too.

Joe continues: “My default reaction is to shout; obviously I was shouted at as a kid and that’s just the way we were raised. But we’re the first generation of people who are trying to break that parenting technique and that style of parenting and [instead] practise the kind, gentle parenting that’s new and that we know about now because of psychology and all the research into child development.

“We have to be the ones who teach them and [demonstrate] good emotional regulation. If they have a meltdown and we’re just screaming and shouting at them, then we’re mirroring their image, we’re mirroring their behaviour. So it’s on us really to learn and then interact differently I think.”

Busy with the launch of his new book, filming for The Body Coach app, plus various events, Joe usually doesn’t take time to stop and reflect on the level of success he has achieved to date, he says. Nonetheless, he is proud.

“I wish I stopped more,” he says, “because me and my brother Nikki work together and we will do something and be like, ‘Right, good, great, on to the next thing.’ We don’t stop to kind of acknowledge that. I try to... and I think I do it more than Nikki does.

“Because we’ve got this book out, obviously this is a busy week, and then next week I’m filming for the app, and then there’s an event. My life moves so fast, but, yeah, I’m really proud of my achievements.

“My greatest career achievements really are two things. One is getting people cooking: millions of people got my cookbooks around the country and millions of people are cooking because of me, and I think that’s wonderful.

“The second thing is obviously PE With Joe, the lockdown stuff. Getting people moving through the pandemic was my gift, and my energy was used in such a positive way.”