‘I returned home after 10 years; my stalker was waiting...’

NI woman’s two decades of obsession hell

A WOMAN from Northern Ireland has opened up about her stalking hell, revealing she has spent 23 years suffering harassment from a man she met only briefly in her early 20s.

Even after fleeing to the US for a decade, Brenda McNally said her stalker still managed to track her down after she returned — adding that she made so many police complaints about him over the years that she thinks “every officer knew my name”.

AFTER fleeing to the US for 10 years to avoid her stalker, Brenda Mcnally returned to find that far from getting over his obsession, the man took up where he left off — even threatening her while she was heavily pregnant.

For more than 23 years Ms Mcnally has been stalked by a man she met only briefly in her early 20s.

As a result of the harassment, she has moved home multiple times and had to change her car to try to avoid Brendan Haughey (53) — but says he always manages to track her down, leaving her in fear of her life.

Stalking legislation only came into force in Northern Ireland last year, with the first Stalking Prevention Order granted in March of this year.

Under this new legislation, police apply for the orders from the magistrates court directly, meaning there is no pressure on a victim to make an application.

Once in place, an order can require a person to stop carrying out specific actions or face up to 10 years in prison.

In Ms Mcnally’s case, her stalker became violent almost immediately, trying to ram her off the road in his car and calling at her home after she rejected his advances back in 2001.

On one occasion after a night out Ms Mcnally and her friend pulled up outside her home in a taxi, only for Haughey to step out of the shadows and attack the taxi driver.

“That was terrifying, the taxi had to drive out of the estate with us still in the car, his behaviour was terrifying.”

At the time Ms Mcnally said police suggested she go into a women’s refuge for her own safety. “I was in my early 20s, up until that point I was having a great time, I hardly knew this man, I wasn’t a battered wife or a victim of domestic abuse, I was horrified at the suggestion.

“Instead I had a friend who lived in America and she suggested I go over for a holiday, just to get some peace, I ended up staying for almost 10 years.

“I had a brilliant life in San Francisco and had forgot all about what happened prior to that and assumed he would have as well.”

However, far from get over his obsession, Haughey had spent the time Ms Mcnally was away obsessing, even making up an entire fantasy life for the young mum-of-two.

“I was only back a few weeks and I would meet people who would have thought I was living in Dunmurry. One person said that Haughey told her I was living with a taxi driver and had two dogs. It wasn’t just a lie, it was an entire fantasy life that he’d thought out for me and he was telling this to anyone who would listen.

“A neighbour then told me that there was a car sitting in my street with a man with his hood up, they were worried about it but I tried to shrug it off.

“Turns out it was him and he started again, banging the door late at night, creeping around the house, dressed in dark clothes.”

Forced to fit her house with security measures including cameras, the CCTV picked up Haughey dressed all in black trying to gain access to Ms Mcnally’s home.

He even tried to force his way past police on one occasion, screaming for her to marry him.

“He also said he wanted to strip me naked and hang me from a lamppost for everyone to see.

“I kept moving home but he always found me, I made so many police complaints that I think every officer knew my name.

“One officer said that they had a nickname for him in the station, they called him Stalky Haughey,” she said.

Haughey was eventually prosecuted in 2015 but claimed to be medically unfit to stand trial and was detained under the Mental Health Act.

This didn’t stop the harassment and he was later prosecuted again, only this time sent to prison.

On a number of occasions he made false allegations against Ms Mcnally, travelling across Northern Ireland to various police stations to avoid officers who were aware of his obsessive behaviour.

Ms Mcnally said that while she welcomes the new legislation she is concerned that stalkers such as Haughey can claim a mental health defence to play the system and avoid criminal prosecution under the new laws.

“Stalkers know how to play the system, they turn the system into part of the abuse”, she said.

“I hope every day that it’s over and I’ll never hear from him again, but I’m not convinced.

“In the last few months I’ve

‘It wasn’t just a lie, it was an entire fantasy life he’d thought out for me and he was telling this to anyone who would listen’

had three flat tyres and they’ve all had nails in them. It might be coincidence but when you’ve been through what I have, everything is a red flag.”

The impact of stalking is back in the news agenda following the success of the Netflix drama Baby Reindeer, which depicts the story of writer Richard Gadd’s experience of being stalked by a woman he met in a London bar where he was working.

Martha, played by actress Jessica Gunning, sent thousands of emails and spent weeks sitting outside his house after becoming fixated with the stand-up comedian.

The real Martha, Scottish woman Fiona Harvey, denied sending 41,000 emails in an interview with Piers Morgan aired on Thursday night.

It is hoped that the dark drama will increase awareness about the impact of stalking. While in Baby Reindeer the stalker is a female harassing a man, in reality around 90% of victims of stalking are female.

Detective Chief Superintendent Lindsay Fisher from the service’s Public Protection Branch said the public should not ignore the “red flags”.

The PSNI say to date 5,000 officers have been trained to recognise and respond to stalking and the new legislation.

“If someone’s behaviour towards you is fixated, obsessive, unwanted and repeated, this is stalking,” said DS Fisher.

“I think many people when they hear the word ‘stalking’ will think of someone lurking in the shadows. Stalking can actually take many forms and can be online as well as in person and could be someone known to you or a complete stranger.

“It is an insidious crime that takes over and destroys lives. Statistics show that people will suffer up to 100 incidents before reporting to police. It often results in fear, trauma and a reduction in the victim’s quality of life, in some tragic cases it has resulted in murder. We are aware that this stark figure can increase when we think about stalking involving young people

“Stalking is a crime, which will not be tolerated or accepted within our communities.

“We are making weekly arrests and the Stalking Protection Orders are allowing our officers to take swift and decisive action, putting restrictions in place and enforcing breaches, treating them as criminal offences,” she added.

‘They turn the system into part of the abuse’