DUBLIN DOMINANT ON GREY DAY FOR TYRONE
I’VE A confession to make, a dirty little secret as it were. I sat through the entire Fifty Shades of Grey film the other night.
RTE, in their infinite wisdom, showed it on Thursday evening, so when the missus decided to see what all the fuss was about, sure I said ‘I might as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb’.
It’s one of those movies that you wouldn’t dream of sticking on Netflix, or whatever your streaming service of choice is, but when it happens to be beaming from a terrestrial channel, you’re somehow persuaded into a submissive state, saying ‘sure I might as well give it a try’, a bit like the slightly reluctant Anastasia in the erotic drama.
On to Sunday and it was Fifty Shades of G.A.A. as a dominant Dublin played the Christian Grey role to a tee, with Mickey Harte’s men as their reluctant mistress.
There may have been no wrist ties or leather whips on show, but the pain and humiliation was felt just as sharply by the Ulstermen nonetheless.
It was a case of red backsides as well as the Red Hand as Tyrone got a proper spanking from the ruthless and domineering Dubs.
The All-Ireland champions wielded the same sort of power over their opponents as the enigmatic, rich businessman in the title role, as they simply swatted away their rivals like mildly annoying flies, and for Tyrone it certainly was a Grey day indeed.
Many will expect the perennial bridesmaids Mayo to experience something akin to Fifty Shades Darker in the final and suffer a similar fate to the beleaguered northerners.
Now I haven’t watched the sequel, and after suffering the first instalment I won’t exactly be rushing out to see it, but judging by the title and taking a wild stab in the dark I’m guessing that the level of control and enslavement goes to a whole new level and it’s not just a richer and deeper hue of Sadolin.
The Connacht side are constantly criticised and labelled as no-hopers, although they continue to defy the odds, despite lacking the wherewithal to land the big one.
More often than not the westerners are underestimated and although they’ve found a recent fondness for taking the scenic route to the September showdown, it shouldn’t be forgotten that it took the mighty Dubs two games to finally shake off their stubborn attentions last year, and if Cillian O’Connor’s radar hadn’t been slightly awry with a late free they would have forced extra-time in the replay.
Every time they leave a possible victory behind them, they’re accused of being bottlers and their chances are immediately written off.
This year’s semi-final was a case in point. When Mayo missed a big opportunity to finish off Kerry the first day, the nay-sayers were quickly out in force, claiming the chance to topple the Kingdom was missed and they would get their comeuppance in the replay.
Manager Stephen Rochford seems to be constantly trying to pull a rabbit out of a hat like a magician from a bygone age, and conjure up some piece of tactical nous that will swing a close tie in his side’s favour, and the law of averages dictated that one day the dice would roll his way as he stuck to his guns with the positioning of Aidan O’Shea.
Mayo will go into the final as battle-hardened as William Wallace in the latter stages of Braveheart, so if they can summon up one more huge effort, they could soften up the all-conquering Dubs and show the rest of the country the champion’s sensitive side.
The old romantic in me really wants Mayo to win, because after years of flirting, but ultimate heartache, they surely deserve a happy ending to their love affair with Sam Maguire.
That said, at this stage, a bit like Christian Grey, most Mayo fans must surely have developed a peculiar penchant for a bit of sadomasochism.