It is so very unfair to be born in a month full of anti-climax

JANUARY is my least favourite month of the year. It is also my birth month which, let’s be honest is probably the crappiest month to be born in.

Most of the time people forget your birthday, ( I can feel my family rolling their eyes as I write. This is not the first time they’ve heard this!) and if they don’t forget, they give you rubbish presents wrapped in Christmas paper because they can’t be bothered or afford to get you anything decent.

It just feels very unfair to be born in a month which is full of anti-climax and post festive blues.

No one, and I mean not even your closest, bestest friends want to celebrate with you. It’s all, “Oh we must do something in February.” Feck that! My birthday is in January. I want to party now!

I should have been a June or July baby, born into sunshine and smiles, barbeques and evening drinks in the garden. Instead I’m hard pushed to find someone who’s not doing Dry January to share a bottle of vino with.

And then there’s the

New Year’s Resolutions.

Oh God how I hate New

Year’s Resolutions! All that well-intentioned smugness about giving up fags and losing weight –

New Year New Me. Give me a bucket! If you want to lose weight then just bloody watch what you eat. (I feel a bit hypocritical saying this as I shove a whole camembert in the oven just for me!).

If you want to give up fags then do it – you don’t have to wait till January to ditch the weed. Same goes for getting fit, not drinking or any other tedious resolutions people come up with. You can do this any time of the year, once you put your mind to it.

It’s not about giving up, self deprivation and doing without. That doesn’t work.

Trust me, I’ve tried it all and failed miserably.

It’s about modifications. Maybe eat a little less, drink a little less, smoke a little less and exercise a little more.

There will be no grand announcements from me declaring sobriety and membership of slimming world this January. Although I did catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror over Christmas wearing a sequinned skirt and thought I looked like a glitterball!

My aim is to live in the moment and enjoy each day as it comes. As cliched as it sounds, life really is too short for abstinence and detox. A little less over indulgence, a little more kindness and we’ll all be doing perfectly fine.

In the meantime I’m going to lie on the couch for a few hours more, eating baked camembert and crusty bread, watching Netflix and thanking my lucky stars that I’m still here to moan and complain. If anyone wishes to join me at any time during my birthday month feel free.

Just bring wine!

ALL THAT WELLINTENTIONED SMUGNESS ABOUT GIVING UP FAGS AND LOSING WEIGHT – NEW YEAR NEW ME. GIVE ME A BUCKET!