The changing nature of relationships
IN life, the only constant is change. We change. Situations change. The people around us change.
And the nature of the relationships we have with the people around us inevitably changes too. This is part of growth and life.
Some of the change is easy to integrate. Sometimes for a variety of reasons, it is more difficult and we resist it.
When children are growing up, they are dependent on their parents. As we age, these roles evolve and can overtime even reverse. In friendship, sometimes we are the strong one. Others, we need more support. In a romantic partnership, roles can change at different stages of life. One can be the breadwinner. Then the other. One can be the partner and then the carer.
Life events can change everything. At work, we can be colleagues and then one of us is promoted to manage people that were once colleagues. Or we can report to someone that was once a peer. A friend can become your brother-in-law. We can leave or lose a job that we spend 20 years meeting the same people all the time and then…we don’t see them anymore. There are so many things that can happen that bring us closer and more connected or that separate us or simply change the dynamic. The possibilities are endless and constantly evolving.
Just as in life, everything works better when we are present. So do relationships.
‘ The only man I know who behaves sensibly is my tailor; he takes my measurements anew each time he sees me. The rest go on with their old measurements and expect me to fit them.’ George Bernard Shaw. This quote shows great wisdom. It is important for many reasons to be present to how people are each time you see them.
Change is the one constant in life. And changes in our relationship dynamics naturally flow from that too.
And like any change, we can go with it or we can go against it. Going with, ultimately is the best option. There are many reasons we don’t always do this.
It could be that we are in some way living in the past. It could be that we are distracted and caught up in how we are…. Or That we don’t want change or don’t want a particular dynamic to change as we are more comfortable with the older dynamic. There are many reasons. When we treat people as they were we block their growth in a way. We miss the opportunity of connecting now and seeing who they are today. We miss out on the happiness and possibilities the current dynamic can bring.
Being present is always better than living in the past. It is more joyful and more productive and infinitely better for our wellbeing.
While it can sometimes be difficult to adjust to people and situations being different and the nature of our relationship changing it is vital we work to do this. Sometimes we resist because we are grieving how things were and would like them to just be as they were.
Dynamics in relationships can change temporarily or permanently. One person is sick and the other cares for them. They get better and things revert. Relationships are two way streets. The relationships that survive and strengthen are the ones that adapt to circumstances – just like people and businesses.
This week, look at the key relationships in your life. Are you allowing your relationships to evolve?
Be present to and Work with things as they are and enjoy.
Californian Poppy is another lovely remedy, one of my favourites. It’s a great option for young children to help them get a peaceful night sleep. It’s especially useful if they’re over excited at bedtime, or for children who are not sleepy when they should be, and it’s also useful for those who have difficulty falling asleep. If your child has nightmares it’s really worth trying, I have seen fantastic results with this remedy. It works as a natural sedative relaxing the child to prepare them for a peaceful night’s sleep. Viridian is the brand that I am familiar with, it’s a herbal tincture, you add it to water or juice.
Ashwaganda is a rejuvenating, adaptogenic herb. It helps relieve stress and anxiety and has a calming and strengthening effect on the nervous system. It helps with adrenal fatigue by supporting the adrenal system, the nervous system, and the immune system. If stress and anxiety are keeping you awake you could try Ashwaganda to help achieve a restful and good quality sleep. Helping you cope with stress more effectively the next day.
Ashwaganda nourishes the thyroid so if you have a thyroid problem and you’re not on medication it could benefit you. As you can see Ashwaganda has many uses and is definitely worth taking a closer look at.
We can always rely on Mother Nature to help us out.