It’s dieting time again, but this time I’m roping in my family

‘RIGHT! That’s it. I’m going on a diet!’ I announced dramatically at the weekend. They all rolled their eyes and ignored me. I don’t really blame them. It’s not like this is the first time they’ve heard this pronouncement from me. I say it at least once every few months.

But this time I mean it. No, I mean, I REALLY mean it! Ever since I saw a photo taken at a friend’s birthday party recently and wondered who was the small roundy blonde one, only to be told it was me, I decided those love handles had to go.

Trouble is I’m all talk. Up until now I’ve found it impossible to stick to any type of diet for more than a day.

I joined Slimming World and put on 2lb the first week because every time I thought about the following week’s dreaded weigh in, I shoved something into my gob.

In Weight Watchers I used to cheat with my points and after paying over €100 to the Juice Master detox, I threw the juices down the sink after lasting without solids just five hours.

My track record is not good. As my mother would say, I’m on the See Food diet! If you put it in front of me, I’ll eat it. I cannot say no. I start off with good intentions but always fall by the wayside.

And then of course there’s the wine. I love my glass of wine. No one ever lost weight watching Netflix and drinking Pinot Grigio. So do I want to be slim more than I like wine?

That’s a tough question to answer. I’m very much a ‘ have my cake and eat it’ type of girl. I want to eat cheese, drink wine and be a size 8.

Sadly I think that ship has well and truly sailed!

So now we’re looking at damage limitation. How much of my waistline can I salvage before I burst my Spanx?

‘ There’s only one thing to do–Ye are going to have to do it with me!’ I inform the family, telling them from tomorrow on there will be no biscuits, sweets or crisps bought until I’m a shadow of my former self.

They are horrified.

Then Himself winks at the offspring. ‘She won’t last 2 days!’

Oh it’s game on Sunshine!