Romantic anniversary dinner or a soccer match? No contest!

THIS week we are 18 years married. That’s nothing to be sneezed at, especially when you’re married to me!

I know I’m not the easiest person in the world to be in a long term relationship with. I’m needy and high maintenance, I’m impulsive and flighty. It’s hard to keep me on the straight and narrow.

But he does keep me on the straight and narrow...more or less and God Bless him he tries to keep me out of trouble as much as possible. He also laughs at my warped sense of humour and turns a blind eye to my compulsion for buying clothes.

He’s no angel either though. Let’s be honest. He couldn’t or wouldn’t be romantic to save his life. Every year I give him a soppy card with a heartfelt message inside. He gets me one of those funny ones with a humorous insult targeting my lack of cooking skills or my ability to remember things he did wrong 15 years ago.

His idea of hell would be to talk about his feelings and there’s none of this ‘I love you more than life itself ’ carry on. Oh no. In fact once when I told him I’d never get over it if he died and asked him would he, he replied, ‘Ah sure you’d have to. Life goes on. You’d want me to be happy wouldn’t you?’

Eh actually, if I’m being honest, no I wouldn’t! I’d want him to mourn me for the rest of his days. I’d want him to look at every other woman and find them lacking in comparison to me. However in reality I reckon if she was decent enough looking and could cook a good steak she’d be in with a chance!

So given that I know him so well, you’d think I would know that he wouldn’t have organised any grand romantic gesture to mark the occasion. But each year I live in hope.

Our anniversary fell on a Satur- day this time round so I assumed we’d go out for dinner…at the very least.

‘Where are we going for dinner on Saturday night?’ I asked Thursday, having made an appointment to get my hair done. He looks blankly at me.

‘Our anniversary?’ I prompted. He starts to look shifty.

‘Ah yeah I was going to talk to you about that. The thing is I got tickets for the soccer match. You don’t mind do you?’

Once again yes I bloody do! But that’s marriage for you I guess. You have to take the rough with the smooth, it’s about give and take and doing your best not to beat them over the head when they p*** you off.

My anniversary was spent alone on the couch sporting a lovely blow dry, snuggling the dog and drinking a nice glass of wine. Next year might be better.

As I said – we live in hope!