The other man’s grass is by no means always greener, not by a long shot
‘OOH! That looks nice.’ Hermione peered over her husband’s shoulder as he opened up his computer. The screen blinked into life, settling down to display a seaside scene. It appeared that the photographer took the shot from inside a cave. The barnacle encrusted arch of the cave framed a view of a blissful blue ocean featuring two impressive rock stacks. ‘Where is that?’
‘Do you know, I have been looking at this picture for ages now and still I have no idea what part of the world it comes from.’ Medders frowned. ‘It pops up regularly on the computer. I have no clue as to what unknown hand, or what benign intelligence, what indiscriminate algorithm decides that I should be treated to this image of some foreign shore.’
‘And there is no way of tracing the location?’
‘Not that I know of. My old-lap top displayed something you could click if I wanted to find out but, since I upgraded, that service is not available to me. Yet the photos continue make their way on to my machine, presumably via the internet. But why they get there and where they originate is completely beyond my ken.’
‘Perhaps Windows or Google want to cheer you up.’
‘Maybe, though I doubt it. The cave shot we see here today is on a roster of such material. Today cave shot, tomorrow telegraph poles on a prairie, the next day mountain footpath on a volcano or maybe one of their selection of waterfalls from around the world. Whoever is in charge seems to be very fond of waterfalls.’ ‘You do not appear to be overly impressed.’
‘You’re right. Granted, the quality of the pictures is top drawer, beautifully composed and perfectly focused. What I don’t like, though, is the lack of control. I never ordered these immaculate images with their gushing waterfalls and cloudless skies.’
‘At least no one is charging you for them.’
‘And the other thing is that they are all foreign. When I was able to identify the locations on the old computer, it seemed they were from the likes of Madagascar or Mongolia or Malaysia. There was never anything from Mayo or Monaghan or Moneygall.’
‘Yes! Put Moneygall on your roster – Obama Plaza at sunset.’ ‘It would make a nice change from the Great Wall of China or baobabs in the Serengeti and all those waterfalls on the upper reaches of the Amazon. The nearest to home I’ve ever noticed was a grey-stoned old Welsh castle.’
‘Presumably computer owners around the world are getting the same whenever they power up their machines.’
‘Presumably. And wouldn’t it be great to show them our wonderful Irish scenery. We are not too shabby in the landscape department, as you know. I was thinking about this the other day.’ ‘About what?’
‘About how beautiful the trees look at this time of year, when the bright new leaves seem to glow against the dark bark. About how the bluebells seem to linger late in bloom this spring. About how the sheep in that field have been shorn already.’
‘True for you.’
‘I was driving the other day as someone on the radio talked about holidays. Holidays in Croatia. Holidays in France. And the bargain to beat all bargains – a holiday on a cruise ship in Hawaii. So this vacation expert is urging me to jet off to Spain or Bali while all around is glorious countryside that I can enjoy without clocking up any airmiles.’
‘That must have been that day the sun shone. Good weather tends to improve the view.’
‘Rain or shine, nothing can take away from the drama of coming across Dunamase Castle in Laois, or seeing the surf coming in off the Atlantic at White Strand in Clare, or glimpsing a stag against the skyline above Glendalough in Wicklow.’
‘Hear! Hear!’
Medders was now on a roll: ‘Don’t try persuading me that the beaches of the Caribbean are a patch the endless sands of West Cork. We have cliffs that are the envy of the world and, while on the topic of waterfalls…