SARAH GARDINER COMPLETES A REMARKABLE JOURNEY
SARAH GARDINER WRITES CANDIDLY ABOUT HER BATTLE WITH DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY AND HOW SOSAD AND THREE MARATHONS BROUGHT OUT THE BEST IN HER UNQUENCHABLE SPIRIT....
IN early 2016, the penny dropped on something that had been with me for most of my life; I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I had endured a particularly difficult time in the run up to this diagnosis, manifesting physically as a series of chest/throat/sinus infections. Although these were real illnesses, I almost revelled in the opportunity to have a legitimate reason to take to my bed for weeks at a time.
Over time, I came to realise that I wanted to hide away because something was off with my mental health.
So when, on one of my many visits to the local GP, my doctor told me depression and anxiety were the underlying factors affecting my overall health, I was relieved to finally call the thing by a name.
This diagnosis allowed me to map out a course of action to tackle this imbalance which had by then infiltrated my family life, my professional life, and even many daily interactions such as going to the shop. I would analyse everything endlessly as a form of self-torture.
I now know this is common to sufferers of anxiety but back then I would constantly second-guess myself – had I said the wrong thing or what did people really think of me.
Determined, but unsure where to turn for help, I decided to contact SOSAD to ask if they could recommend someone that I could talk to. They immediately invited me to come in to them, and although I had concerns about taking up their valuable time with my issues, they quickly put me at my ease and made me feel like I was just as deserving as anyone of their help.
Over several months with the help of my SOSAD counsellor I made great progress identifying the triggers which cause my depression and anxiety to flare up, and dealing with some unresolved issues from my past.
What I also learned in SOSAD was that they are providing a completely free service which relies on donations to keep the doors open, providing their lifesaving services.
I wanted to do something to give back so I arranged a fundraising gathering of friends in the run up to Christmas in 2016. At this, the inevitable questions about why I was supporting SOSAD gave me the opportunity to talk openly to my friends and family about my own mental health struggles.
This was cathartic for me, but also acted as a catalyst for several people to disclose their own mental health issues to me.
I realised that openness and honesty on my part opened the door for other people to respond in kind. Piecing together these two things and SOSAD’s need for funding I decided to set myself a fundraising challenge for 2017. The only question was, what would I do that would really take me out of my comfort zone, and also encourage others to sponsor me?
In Dunleer, where I live, marathon running is not considered unusual. Thanks to Team Carrie, which had been established by David and Aileen Carrie in 2010 to help people achieve their dream of running a marathon, practically the whole village has run a marathon or several! I had also joined Team Carrie in 2013 and gone on to run 3 Dublin Marathons.
It was natural to think about running for my challenge. But with so many marathon runners in the area, running one marathon would not cut it! I needed to think bigger, and then I thought, what about 3 marathons, in 1 month!
I didn’t know if it was crazy or impossible for a casual jogger like me to complete a challenge of this magnitude, so I enlisted the help of David Carrie. As a man with a fondness for numerical significance, David immediately liked the idea that I had run 3 marathons in the past, now I would run 3 in 1 month. He assured me that if I approached it in the right way, I could do it. That was it, I had found my challenge! I signed up for Cologne, Amsterdam and Dublin Marathons on the 1st, 15thand 29th October.
As the owner of a marketing company, I am very aware of the power of social media to engage with an audience.
I decided to set up a public Facebook page to allow anyone who was interested to follow my journey. On this page, as well as sweaty-faced training updates, I started to post very honest accounts of my own struggles with mental health. The response was immediate and overwhelming. Some of my video posts were viewed thousands of times, often by people I did not know. For me, this was progress. I was sharing some of my most intimate thoughts with an audience, and in so doing, I was tackling my anxiety head-on.
I was greatly encouraged by the fantastic support I got in return. So many people approached me directly to share how my videos had resonated with them, and others disclosed their own mental health struggles to me and asked for advice on how to begin dealing with them.
In the thousands of views, and tens of thousands of comments, I did not get one single negative response. I was so encouraged by this positivity that I was sure I had chosen the right path. All I had to do now was run the 3