If I were a blogger, I would have nothing of interest to write about!

IN recent times, quite a few people have suggested to me I start writing a blog.

I tried to explain that my life is way too boring to become a blogger, I would have nothing of interest to write about.

Bloggers are glamorous and attend openings and launches. They photograph beautiful people and take 70 ‘ candid’ shots of themselves standing beside a wall, staring artfully into space before they get the right one. They get loads of free gear sent to them and spend a lot of their time promoting said gear for a few bob, whilst telling us what a wonderful life they’re leading.

Like I said I have nothing to put in a blog although if anyone wants to send me freebies, by all means do! I suspect that newspaper readers tend not to be as fussy as those on social media.

I’ve been writing this column for 20 years and nobody seems to care too much that I have nothing

THE ARRIVAL OF MY NEW KITCHEN TABLE AND CHAIRSWAS THE FIRST STEP IN A CUNNING PLAN TO CREATE A MORE HARMONIOUS FAMILY LIFE CHEZ NOUS

of particular interest to say. I have managed to fill this space writing about the mundanities of every day life from the days of me being a newly wed, to being pregnant, having babies, toddlers, now moody teenagers and you’ve stuck with me. I don’t think social media would be as tolerant.

For example the most exciting thing to happen to me this week was my new kitchen table and chairs arrived! This may not seem like a big deal but for me it was the first step in a cunning plan to create a more harmonious family life chez nous.

Up until now, no one wanted to sit at the long rectangular kitchen table for their meals. They said it wasn’t cosy so dinner was eaten at various locations all over the house. I resolved this issue, or so I thought, by buying a round table where we could all sit together and chat about our day whilst enjoying the fruits of my culinary labours.

The table arrives. I buy a bunch of yellow tulips and plonk them in a vase in the middle of the table. I didn’t burn the dinner…..for a change and I even lit one of my good scented candles kept for special occasions. What more could you want?

I’m sitting there beaming around at them, all delighted with myself. ‘Well what do you think of the new table and chairs?’ I ask. ‘Yeah, good,’ mutters The Youngest. ‘Why are all the chairs different colours?’ asks The Eldest.

‘It’s supposed to be eclectic. I’m going for an effortless look,’ I explain. ‘Yeah, a bit like the dinner,’ he snorts and they all start laughing. This is progress of sorts, I suppose. At least they’re talking even if they are taking the mick out of me.

Wait till the new sideboard arrives. That will really give them something to talk about!

I could get a blog out of this yet!!