THE POWER OF SEX
In the modern era of dating apps, women are more assertive than ever about their sexual needs. One Tinder devotee, who has had more than 100 men, talks about how she approaches potential sex encounters...
“You can let your inhibitions go. I think it’s empowering.”
What do busy, successful, single young women do nowadays when they want sex? The answer: Tinder. I sat down with a friend in the fashion industry. She’s tall, blonde, hot and doesn’t mince words when it comes to what she wants – in bed or in life.
Lorraine has a few years worth of Tinder stories for me. She calls her pursuit of sex partners ‘dick delivery’. Meaning she’s consciously using a ‘fucking’ app, not a ‘dating’ app. That’s how she defines the difference between Tinder and either Hinge (founded in 2012) or Raya, the newer ‘topsecret’ celebrity dating app, which works by invitation only.
Fresh out of two longer-term relationships, Lorraine started using the “first, straight, fucking app” for a fast track to the bedroom. In the process, she was fulfilling her sexual needs without a lot of the ‘extra energy or effort’ that goes into dating.
“I’ll start chatting with guys,” she says. “I’ll ask them questions.”
She also has a look at their social media to see what she can glean. “If no ‘red flags’ go off, and we seem to be on the same page,” she adds, “sometimes we meet for a pre-date drink, sometimes it’s straight to my apartment. I have a roommate and my best friend next door, which I always mention at the beginning of the date. If anything shady goes down, this date will turn very quickly when I start screaming!”
ALWAYS USE CONDOMS
She selected a young Italian waiter. He brought a bottle of wine from his workplace (which she thought was ‘weird and cheap’) but had a feeling he might be ‘wellhung’. Fairtrade!
So how do the dates start?
“This one started on my couch. Making out led to the bedroom pretty quickly. He did turn out to be well-hung. The next morning, he came around to my side of the bed and started fucking my mouth. When he came on my face, his cum got into both my eyes! He was scrambling around my apartment looking for a towel. It burns like a motherfucker! I was mildly concerned about my morning meeting, cause I couldn’t see for shit!”
Tyler, another candidate, liked older women.
“He told me, ‘If I fuck you before I date you, I won’t want to date you’. I’m overly confident, and most of these guys are stupid. I have to be a roadmap to help them. If I don’t cum you have to leave and you don’t get to come back.”
She recounts a romantic one night stand with a very touchy Brazilian boy.
“When a guy I meet on Tinder is overly affectionate, it makes me mistrustful,” she says. “He went down on me, and it was SO bad. His nose was too big, beating against me: it was torture. I’m not afraid to be direct. I asked him if he knew what he was doing. I just don’t have the time or patience… I’ve slept with over 100 men. I’m not timid. If you’re looking for a virgin, go to E-Harmony.”
How do you protect yourself from STDs?
“During my interview questions, I can tell if they’re lying. I’m also very lucky. I have a girlfriend who waited and waited for the right guy before having sex. She ended up getting HPV from her first time! The big thing is that I always use condoms. I can usually tell if a person is hygienic by how they keep themselves. Also, I’ll sue the shit out of you!
“I’ve had fuck buddies for over ten years,” she elaborates. “Tinder takes the alcohol risk out of it. It’s safer than picking someone up at a bar. I can see what their interests are, you get the menu of someone’s likes and dislikes. There’s no safety with cold pick-ups. I’ve had copious amounts of cock, swiping. You can let your inhibitions go. I think it’s empowering.”
But not always.
“After a while it gets tiring,” she admits. “I tried dating some of the Tinder men. One guy I liked was a very accomplished Syrian Refugee. He went to Columbia. He had a series 7 BMW – smart, amazing smile, sexy. But my family freaked out when I brought him around.”
“I come from a family of app users. My mother met my stepfather in the '90s on the AOL
dating app. During their ‘safe call’ ritual, Lorraine’s mom reported that her future stepdad ‘was the one’.
After three years on Tinder, Lorraine was ready for a relationship. The experience gave her more confidence to seek out other platforms. She was prepared to look for more than just sex.
“You can’t take the dates on Tinder seriously cause of what it is. It’s for the sexually exploring person. I switched over to Hinge to find something more serious.”
That’s where she met her current boyfriend. “Before we even met, I learned that he lived in China and spoke four languages. On the first date, we had a great time just talking and snuggling, watching TV. We waited a month and a half for sex.”
When he first asked ‘When are we going to make love?’ she wanted to wait.
“If you want a serious relationship you have to wait. Motion versus emotional.”
In between questions, we call Lorainne’s male roommate, Alz – who’s from Norway – and she puts him on the phone. He has also used Tinder.
“All you American girls are crazy,” he says. “Just want to fuck! ‘Come on over and fuck me’. I just turn them down. Three times this happened. I’m a Virgo: I don’t do that.”
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